1. Because obviously med students only think about sex: “Studying in med school is like having sex when you’re drunk. You never actually finish, you just keep going until it’s not worth it anymore.” 2. And food… “You really like pancakes, and you are super excited to eat a big fat stack of fluffy, buttery pancakes with high-end maple syrup made by Alton Brown. And they’re really good. But then you have to eat pancakes for lunch too. And dinner. And the next day you wake up, and there’s only one thing on the menu. You eat pancakes every day for 2 weeks, and you start to get really sick of pancakes. Then 2 weeks is up and you binge drink for 2 days. Then back to pancakes.” 3. Apparently med students really love themselves some pancakes “You have to eat 5 pancakes every day. If you skip a day, it’s no big deal, but you have to eat 10 the next day or 6/day over the next 5 days to make up for it. It’s never really horrible and you skip a day or two here and there. Until one day you realize that you have an exam tomorrow and that you’ve got to eat 25 pancakes by the next morning.” 4. Look out for your lineage! “Med school is where you learn who not to send your family to.” 5. Some Scrubs inspiration: “You might have to give up something you want now, for something you wanted your whole life” 6. Better brush up on your driver’s ed course: “Med School is like learning to drive. We all go through driver’s ed (MS1, MS2) and don’t remember shit, but you need to do it anyways so that you don’t kill someone the instant you get in the car. Once you do get in the car though (MS3, MS4, residency), that’s when the real learning happens.” 7. A Haiku… “Some people will whine. Others stand the test of time. There is lots of poop” 8. Thirsty? “Medicine is like drinking the ocean with a glass of water. A few glasses at most and you’ve peed out what you’ve drank before.” 9. Seems like an appropriate analogy: “Med School is like a code, the first 2 mins your pushing epi into the patient, your adrenals are pumping epi into you. Then you find a good rhythm, call some switches, push more epi, but no improvement. Just when you are about to call it, you take your hands off the patient, you get a pulse… relief, then you hear the next code called over the intercom.” 10. Depressing but true? “Medical school is like a million tiny betrayals of purpose. Each one so minute that you hardly notice, but they creep up on you” Source
