Recently I’ve gone through some big changes; I broke up with my boyfriend of five years and began my first year of medical school. When I told my mom that we broke up she stated, “Don’t worry you’ll find a nice guy in medical school.” I’ve dated a bit and observed a lot and here’s the caliber of guy I’ve found: The Fish Every time a party rolls around, he acts like it’s the prohibition era. The moment the books are down, the bottle is to his face. It’s as if he never drank in college. Throughout the course of the night he gets so inebriated his buttons on his freshly pressed shirt slowly become unbuttoned (by him) and SnapChats start being sent. The next morning he wakes up with random scratches all over his body and a wicked hangover with no recollection of what happened. The Closet Slut This guy looks perfect on the surface. Every single hair on his head is in place, he dresses super preppy, classy smile beaming from ear to ear, but when day turns to night he is on the prowl for cougars. He’s looking for unbridled, anonymous sex so steer clear, unless you want the clap. The “Too Cool for School” guy I’ve realized that no matter if you’re in elementary school or professional school there is always one of these guys. He acts like such a bro about life but when it comes to the books he totally performs without even trying. When he makes an appearance in class everyone is shocked because “Let’s face it guys, I don’t need to show up to pass.” The Guy Who is OBSESSED With His Girlfriend Now I’m totally all for being into your significant other, but can you two just relax? When he does grace you with his presence there are a couple scenarios possible. If she isn’t here he’s sulking about her because they’re fighting. If she is here he’s ducking out of parties early because she’s a fun sucker and has him whipped. Typically he’s not around on weekends because she’s got him booked from now until he graduates in 2017. The Time-Waster I know that there is one of these out there in every social circle, not just medical school. He’s completely unsure of what he wants. This guy will ask you out, and then say he can’t hang because he’s with someone else, and then ask you out a second time just to take you to coffee and never talk to you again. Don’t bother. If it doesn’t work out the first time chances are it isn’t meant to be. The Hand Holder He is super sweet, a sincere gentleman. This guy will sweet talk you, wine and dine you, surprise you with romantic gestures…. but only hold your hand. After a long stressful day of learning the glycolytic pathway you want him to study your anatomy, so dating this guy can be very frustrating. The Flavor of the Week My heart goes out to these guys, honestly. They are super smart, a little quirky and totally awkward in social situations so dating is hard for them. It kind of goes like this: guy sees girl, guy instantly falls in love with girl and pursues her when completely shmammered (either in person or via Facebook message), girl gets freaked out and either already has a boyfriend or pretends to have a boyfriend, boy gets heartbroken and sulks. This cycle repeats once every couple of weeks. The “Platonic Friend” The sexual tension with this one can be cut with a knife. You definitely are both into each other and maybe given different circumstances might be ready to dive into things but for some reason you’re pretending there’s nothing there. Maybe if it wasn’t for the copious amounts of studying to be done the relationship would have progressed by now. Until then you just keep sporadically exchanging flirty texts in between cram sessions and swapping playful glances when tipsy. The Chronic Gossip Girl He has to be “in the know” with EVERYTHING. This guy is constantly asking questions about people, updating his Facebook browser and keeps tabs on everyone’s social/love life. Also when he does see any activity on your Facebook/Twitter he feels the need to comment about it. The Emotional One I find it unattractive when these guys show their true colors. They get entangled with more social drama than the girls do. This guy is constantly looking to get into a fight (either physical or verbal) because they always feel like they are correct. They also seem to be very judgmental about others and how they lead their lives, which gets very old very quickly. If they are pursuing someone they act like the woman in the relationship. Interestingly enough all of these guys had to look fantastic on paper in order to get into professional school. So my question is where is the missing link? Why do they all have hang ups? Are they just so book smart that there’s no more room in their brains for social etiquette with women? source
I just LOVE it when an individual is thrown into the single dating pool after years of being involved with only one person and thinks they have the scene (and all those in it) figured out. You aren't entirely off-base, but I'm going to assume you've attempted to date all of these guys? If you have, then I know what female category to put you under. If you haven't, then these are merely subjective observations with very very little insight. I was going to say "go back to writing terrible articles for Buzzfeed," but then I clicked on the source and literally palmed my face. I just got sucked into the stupidity of another Buzzfeed article, the plague of the internet.
