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8 Actual Medical Reasons That Will Kill Game of Thrones Characters

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Egyptian Doctor, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. Egyptian Doctor

    Egyptian Doctor Moderator Verified Doctor

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    If there is one thing any Game of Thrones fan knows, it is to not get too attached to any character on the show. For some reason George R.R. Martin gets his kicks from killing any character the audience holds close or dear, repeatedly and unexpectedly, so it can be hard to be a fan. Recently, I was thinking about his talent for destroying fictional characters I like, and I thought to myself, “why can’t I do that?” As a medical student, I quite literally spend my entire day learning of the myriad of ways that people die. It doesn’t look so hard: One enzyme here, one substance there, genetics, bad lifestyle, bam – dead. Because of this, I decided I would beat George R.R. Martin at his own game and kill his fictional characters by plausible means.

    1. Jon Snow- Hypothermia

    I simply have no idea how this guy walks around the cold lands without getting frostbite. I get it, he wears a ton of Bear fur, however, even bears hibernate in the winter because living in the cold sucks. Moreover, looking at the landscape, the cold he experiences isn’t just Michigan “Golly gee it’s cold”, it’s Russia, “My tears are freezing to my face!” cold. Forget about “wildlings”, this guy is one poorly timed nap away from getting killed.

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    2. Jaime Lannister- Sepsis

    Spoiler alert:

    In one episode, Jamie Lannister gets his hand cut off and is then given the most rudimentary medical treatment (e.g. dirty cotton and rope) and boom, he’s good. That’s absurd. Even after the guy survives the shock of losing his hand, this guy’s stump of an arm is just a step away from a petri dish in terms of its ability to grow bacteria. This only gets worse as it becomes clear that nobody is changing his dressings, as the cotton that surrounds his hand gets progressively browner, and as he is repeatedly shoved in the mud. How he hasn’t died, much less had the rest of his arm succumb to gangrene, is about as believable as dragons.

    3. Samwell Tarly- CHF

    If this guy gets pain in his chest that radiates down his left arm, I told you so.

    4. Tyrion Lannister- Liver failure and/or Syphillis

    Ah yes, the debutante with a heart of gold. Unfortunately, drinking obscene amounts of alcohol while having unprotected sex with a variety of prostitutes in multiple towns is a recipe for disaster. The fact that he is not as yellow as an oompa-loompa while losing his vibratory senses is beyond me. Hopefully magic is as effective as penicillin or else he’s a goner (penicillicus G!… wait, wrong universe).

    [​IMG]

    5. Tywin Lannister- Prostate Cancer

    Taiwan needs to take some time off from leading armies, shadow controlling the kingdom, and being a general bosshog, and get himself a prostate exam. He’s not the spry old man he used to be. He’s starting to lose his spunk for leading armies to slaughter innocent villagers and conquering other fiefdoms. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t be surprised if Taiwan Lannister is going to the bathroom for prolonged periods of time in season 4.

    6. Theon Greyjoy- … you know why.

    7. Daenerys Targaryan- Pregnancy

    Surprise. It turns out that for a young, healthy, fertile woman in medieval times, pregnancy was one of the most dangerous things she could do. Let’s not forget her last pregnancy was delivered in a dirty tent in the desert. Infection, hemorrhage, placenta previa etc.; the list of complications that can occur during this time is massive, and last time I checked none of their treatments include included dragons or witch doctors.

    [​IMG]

    8. Joffrey Barothean- Karma

    Okay, okay, karma isn’t actually a disease, and this is obviously outside of my medical expertise, but come on. This kid has it coming.

    Source
     

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  2. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    About cold, Inuit igloo keeps temperature -7 C inside creating "comfortable" living conditions for whole family.
    Another one,
    "Oymyakon is a small village located in the north-eastern Russian Republic of Sakha (Yakutia). It is commonly considered the coldest populated place on Earth. Situated in the heart of Siberia an area nicknamed "Stalin's Death Ring" (a former destination for political exiles), Oymyakon boasts an average winter temperature of -45C, with a one-time world record low of -71.2C. Ironically, Oymyakon means "non-freezing water", situated as it is to a nearby hot spring."
    And I would like to add, - only transportation is polar rain deer :)
    So, I would give John Snow a chance :D
     

  3. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    Archeological findings reveal, that amputation procedures have been performed since ancient times. The earliest amputations, though, were performed mainly to remove tissue that was already dead. The reason for this limitation is that early surgical techniques could not control the blood loss, called hemorrhaging, that results from cutting healthy arteries.

    Surgeons in Ancient Greece and Rome dealt with the problem of hemorrhaging by introducing the technique of tying off, or ligating, blood vessels during surgery. Surprisingly, their techniques appear to have been forgotten for many centuries. It was during these times that blood vessels were instead cauterized using hot irons or boiling oil.

    Advancements in amputation surgeries have tended to follow major wars. The techniques introduced by French military surgeon Ambroise Paré are a good example of this. Due to the rise of gunpowder and the weapons of war associated with it, Paré needed more effective methods of treating soldiers with devastating battlefield injuries. Among his several important contributions, Paré reintroduced the technique of ligating blood vessels
    Now let us agree that Jaime's chances of survival don't look that slim, no?
     

  4. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    I would kill Samwell Tarly with pleasure 3:) , If CHF does it for me, great!
     

  5. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    Tyron has the highest chances to "fit" the diagnosis ;)
     

  6. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    I would add increased risk of testicular cancer and urinary bladder infections to Tywin's prognosis. Something has to kill this SOB 3:)
    Theon, o Theon, it's all grey and no joy! But it wouldn't kill him, he would have lonely testicles and... beautiful voice. ;)
    Castrats were not just great singers, but very imaginative lovers too.
    "
    “Long live the knife, the blessed knife!” screamed ecstatic female fans at opera houses as the craze for Italian castrati reached its peak in the 18th century — a cry that was supposedly echoed in the bedrooms of Europe’s most fashionable women."
     

  7. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    If this woman could squeeze out of her uterus three fire breathing dragons, I wouldn't worry about her giving birth to a human child :D
     

    Last edited: Mar 13, 2014
  8. Nana Shonk

    Nana Shonk Bronze Member

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    Joffrey, - o yes!!! :D
     

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