Being a doctor is a lifelong commitment. We invest years in medical school, countless hours in residency, and more time in practice. Over the years, certain habits and quirks start to develop. Here are ten signs that you’ve been a doctor for way too long. 1. You Speak in Acronyms Obsessed with Abbreviations: Your daily vocabulary consists of acronyms like BP, CBC, EKG, and MRI. Mystifying Non-Medics: When talking to friends and family, they often stare at you blankly because your conversation is peppered with medical jargon. Shortcuts for Everything: You find yourself abbreviating even simple words in your notes to save time. 2. White Coat Syndrome – For Real White Coat Everywhere: Your white coat is your second skin. You feel undressed without it. Pocket Overload: The pockets of your white coat contain more items than a magician's hat – stethoscope, penlight, snacks, notes, and the list goes on. Laundry Issues: You have a separate laundry cycle just for your white coats and scrubs. 3. Time Warps in the Hospital Time Blindness: You lose all sense of time. Hours, days, and sometimes even months blur together. Meal Confusion: Breakfast at 7 PM? Dinner at 3 AM? Your meal times have no connection to the actual time of day. Eternal Work Hours: You measure your life in shifts rather than days or weeks. 4. You Diagnose Everywhere Diagnosing Strangers: You can't help but diagnose strangers on the bus, at the grocery store, or even in a restaurant. Family Doctor: Your family calls you before they call their own doctors, even for the smallest concerns. Self-Diagnosing: You constantly diagnose yourself with the rarest diseases you read about. 5. Medical Show Critique TV Show Critic: Watching medical dramas is impossible without critiquing the accuracy of every scene. Unimpressed by Hollywood: Hollywood’s medical miracles and procedures often make you cringe. Educational Commentary: You provide running commentary during medical shows, explaining what should really be happening. 6. Medical Equipment Expertise Tech Savvy: You can operate complex medical machinery without blinking an eye. Gadget Collector: Your home is filled with medical gadgets and equipment that you’ve collected over the years. MacGyver Skills: You can improvise medical tools from household items when needed. 7. Conferences are Vacations Conference Enthusiast: You look forward to medical conferences more than actual vacations. Hotel Room Life: You have a preferred set of hotels in every major city because of frequent conferences. Networking Pro: Your professional network is extensive, built over years of conference interactions. 8. Your Sense of Humor is… Unique Dark Humor: You develop a dark sense of humor as a coping mechanism. Medical Jokes: Your jokes often involve medical puns and scenarios that only fellow doctors understand. Laughing at the Inappropriate: You laugh at things that non-medical folks find inappropriate or morbid. 9. Paperwork is Your Nemesis Endless Documentation: The mountain of paperwork seems never-ending and you’ve developed systems to manage it. EMR Expert: You navigate electronic medical records systems with ease, even if they change frequently. Forms and More Forms: Filling out forms has become a routine part of your day, and you can do it in your sleep. 10. You Live in Scrubs Scrubs Fashion: Your wardrobe is dominated by scrubs in every color and pattern. Comfort First: You prioritize comfort over fashion and often wear scrubs outside of the hospital. Scrubs Everywhere: You have a favorite brand and type of scrubs, and you stockpile them just in case.
