10. To a doctor: “Are you sure you want to (fill in the blank)?” It’s the nicest way we have of telling somebody, “You’ve made a really huge mistake here and I’m trying to let you know gently.” 9. “You’ll feel a little pinch.” Really? If I stick a needle through somebody’s hide, they won’t feel a pinch. They’ll feel a needle puncturing them. 8. “You’re not going to die.” Unsaid: “Because that’s too much paperwork for me.” 7. “Take a deeeeep breath.” Which, as we all know, never, ever helps. 6. “Drink this.” Just like Alice in Wonderland. 5. “My patient just (whatever) and I need a new pair of scrubs.” 4. “Keep this alcohol wipe balanced on the end of your nose.” No, it’s not a circus act. It helps with nausea. 3. To a complete stranger: “You have gorgeous veins.” (Or am I the only one who does that?) 2. “One…two…THREE!” (This is a multi-use phrase.) 1. “My hands used to look so nice.” Source
