10 Things You Should Know Before Marrying a Surgeon

1. Your Surgeon Spouse is Married to the Job

First and foremost, you're not their only spouse. Their first love? Surgery. You’re basically the sidekick. While your surgeon spouse is off saving lives and meticulously suturing arteries, you’ll be dealing with their second love—endless medical journals. Don’t be surprised if you catch them sneaking a look at some new surgical technique during a romantic dinner.

When you ask them about their day, prepare for responses that sound like foreign language films: "I had a four-hour anastomosis followed by a double hernia repair, then a Whipple procedure." You may not understand a word of it, but you’ll get used to the rhythm of it over time. Also, don’t expect deep emotional recounts—"good day" usually means no one died, and "bad day" means something broke (hopefully not a vital organ).

2. Scrubs, Scrubs, Scrubs

Forget designer suits or fancy evening wear; scrubs are the uniform of your new life. Your surgeon spouse will likely spend more time in scrubs than any other attire. Sure, they may look sharp in them, but be prepared for this to be their go-to wardrobe, whether at work or at home. And let’s be honest: those scrubs aren’t going to stay in the hospital. They’ll be everywhere—in your laundry pile, on the floor, and, if you're lucky, not on the dining table.

And don't even think about wearing their scrubs to bed as a cute joke. Those things have seen things you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. They may not smell like roses either after a 12-hour surgery.

3. “Sorry, I’m On Call”

Planning a romantic weekend getaway? Dinner date? Movie night? Nope. If your partner is on call, cancel everything. Imagine living with an unpredictable alarm clock. At any given moment, they might have to rush out in the middle of whatever activity you had planned, leaving you to finish that candlelit dinner alone or enjoy that rom-com while texting them, “How’s the appendectomy going?” Romantic, right?

The hospital pager is like a third wheel in your relationship, buzzing incessantly at the most inconvenient times. Holidays? Forget about it. Most surgeons have to work shifts during Christmas, New Year’s Eve, or other big holidays, so your celebrations might involve some hospital cafeteria turkey. Don't worry—hospital food is surprisingly tolerable (if you're into institutionalized dining).

4. Medical Stories at Dinner

If you’ve ever had fantasies about deep, meaningful conversations at the dinner table, replace them with graphic depictions of surgeries gone wrong, bowel resections, and blood-soaked scrubs. Nothing says "appetite" like hearing about someone's intestines mid-lasagna. A surgeon’s brain never leaves the operating room, so don’t be surprised when those thrilling surgical stories make their way to dinner conversation. Forget small talk about politics or weather; this is your new reality.

5. Expect Delayed Gratification

Surgeons live on surgeon time, which runs anywhere between 1-3 hours behind regular people time. If your spouse says they’ll be home by 6 p.m., assume that’s a loose estimate. In surgeon-world, "I'll be there soon" means they’ll arrive after scrubbing out of surgery, dictating notes, discussing cases with residents, and probably grabbing a cup of coffee somewhere along the way.

Get comfortable with phrases like, "I'll be home in an hour," followed by hours of anxious waiting. The upside? You’ll get very good at solo Netflix binging.

6. The Surgical Ego

Surgeons are incredibly confident in the operating room. That same confidence (often bordering on arrogance) can sometimes find its way into your home. Don't be surprised if your spouse suddenly becomes an expert in household repairs, gourmet cooking, or IKEA furniture assembly. Their mantra: "If I can remove a gallbladder, I can definitely fix this." Spoiler: they can’t.

Learning to humor their surgical superiority complex without losing your cool is a critical survival skill. Just smile, nod, and hide the hammer.

7. Hospital Gossip

For all their life-saving heroism, surgeons are still human, and hospitals are hotbeds for gossip. Your surgeon spouse will likely have a front-row seat to the soap opera that is the hospital staff's personal lives. Whether it's about the mysterious new resident or the awkward romance between a nurse and a junior doctor, there’s always something juicy going on.

The tricky part? They may drop some of these nuggets during a casual conversation without any context. It might take you a while to realize that "Dr. Smith" is not their rival but the person who just gave them a donut during a long surgery.

8. Sleep, What’s That?

Becoming a surgeon means waving goodbye to sleep. If your spouse is lucky, they might catch a few hours of rest between cases, but for the most part, they’ll be running on caffeine and adrenaline. This means a lot of sleepless nights and even more late-night snoring sessions—usually by the time they get home, they're too exhausted to function.

Also, prepare for random naps on the couch, the dining table, or sometimes even the bathroom (yes, it’s that real). Try not to disturb them during their precious few moments of sleep unless you want to unleash the wrath of a sleep-deprived surgeon.

9. Anatomy Lessons…for You

Living with a surgeon means you'll become somewhat of an anatomy expert yourself—whether you like it or not. Casual references to obscure body parts, complex procedures, and long Latin words will become part of your daily vocabulary. You may even find yourself impressing friends with your newfound knowledge of the esophagus or spleen.

And hey, need a Band-Aid? Your spouse will likely whip out their suture kit and turn a paper cut into a full-fledged medical procedure, complete with sterile gloves and surgical precision.

10. When They Do Finally Get Time Off…

On the rare occasion when they do have a day off, don’t expect a grand adventure. After grueling hours in the hospital, their idea of a perfect day involves sleeping for 15 hours straight, followed by some mindless Netflix watching in bed. You might need to pull them out of their post-call coma to remind them that a world exists beyond the operating room.

When they are awake, they may go through withdrawal symptoms from not being in the hospital. Don’t be shocked if they suddenly get the urge to “check up on work.” You’ll often hear phrases like, "I wonder how my post-op patients are doing," or "Did I double-check that X-ray?"