1. “I told my boss this wouldn’t take more than an hour. It’s already been an hour and a half and I haven’t even been called in yet!” I should have just taken the whole day off. 2. “Why do they even bother scheduling appointments if they know that the doctor will never, ever be ready to see anyone at their appointed time?” And yet they act like it’s the end of the world if you show up five minutes late to an “appointment.” 3. “And the worst part of all is that the checkup itself lasts five minutes.” I don’t mind waiting an hour to see you, but could you at least make something up to make me feel like the wait was worthwhile? 4. “Are all these people waiting to be seen at the same time as me?” We’re not all going to be able to get in… 5. “What diseases do the other people sitting here have? I’m going to try to guess.” Who knows? Maybe they’re doing the same with me? 6. “Why do all the magazines look like they’re from the early 1900s?” And you’ve never heard of half the magazines before, either. 7. “And what cultured mind was behind the selection of such fine art?” I’m bored out of my mind and this is the best visual stimulus they have to offer? 8. “I want to get some more jellybeans at the reception desk, but I’m embarrassed. Ah, what the heck, I want candy.” I revert to my six-year-old self whenever I go to the doctor. 9. “While I’m waiting, I might as well look up my symptoms on Google.” Hmm, according to this search, it could either be an allergic reaction or the black plague. 10. “What if I just came here for something minor but they find something that’s actually really scary.” I’m dying. 11. “If I have to wait this long just to be told I have a virus, I’m going to throw a fit.” Just kidding, I won’t. But only because I’m a really freaking composed human being, damnit. 12. “I’m here because I have a fever, but maybe I can make the most of the visit and ask about that pain in my stomach as well? Or do they only allow one ailment per visit…” I’ll just casually slip in the whole stomach pain issue. And maybe that weird pain in my knee, as well… 13. “What do you mean you don’t take my insurance?” You won’t see me because you don’t accept my insurance, but you’ll magically find time to see some rando who doesn’t even have insurance? Okay, I get it. 14. “I hope he doesn’t ask me about my diet.” I have a feeling we won’t see eye to eye on this issue… 15. “Will the doctor think walking from the driveway to the house counts as sufficient daily exercise?” The gym is just soooooo far away. And it’s cold outside. And I just don’t want to exercise. 16. “I hope I get a lollipop for being a good patient after this is over.” Especially if I need to get a shot or have blood drawn. No, no, no, no, NO!!! 17. “Okay, remind me next time to ask for an audio recording with that prescription…” All I got from this was the exclamation point. Why is there an exclamation point on a prescription?! Source
