20 Funniest and Most Bizarre Questions Asked in a Doctor’s Office

1. "Can I have my appendix back after surgery?"

One of the more unusual requests comes from patients who have formed a sentimental attachment to their body parts. Surgeons occasionally hear patients ask if they can keep their appendix, gallbladder stones, or even a tooth extracted during a procedure. The desire to keep these items as "souvenirs" might seem odd to some, but it reflects a common curiosity about the human body and a desire to have tangible proof of what was causing them pain.

Doctor’s Insight: “I once had a patient ask if they could keep their appendix in a jar after surgery. They said they wanted to ‘show it off’ to their friends. I had to explain that it’s considered medical waste and can’t be given back!”

2. "Will I be taller after my back surgery?"

Spinal surgeries, especially those that involve correcting deformities, often lead patients to believe that they might gain height post-surgery. While it’s true that some procedures can improve posture, the expectation of a significant height increase is usually unrealistic.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once asked if they’d be six inches taller after their spinal fusion. I had to gently let them down and explain that while their posture would improve, they shouldn’t expect to hit the NBA draft after the surgery.”

3. "Can I get pregnant from a toilet seat?"

The myth of toilet seat pregnancy is surprisingly persistent, despite extensive sex education. Many patients, especially those who are younger or less informed, worry about contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or even becoming pregnant from sitting on a public toilet seat.

Doctor’s Insight: “I’ve had to reassure more than a few patients that pregnancy cannot happen just from using a public restroom. It’s always a delicate conversation, but an important one to have.”

4. "Can you put the baby back in for a few more weeks?"

Labor can be a daunting experience, and some patients, particularly first-time mothers, may not feel ready when the moment arrives. The idea of delaying birth by “putting the baby back in” reflects a mix of fear, anxiety, and perhaps a lack of preparedness for the imminent life change.

Doctor’s Insight: “A nervous mother once asked if I could just ‘put the baby back’ and give her more time to get ready. While I understood her nerves, I had to explain that the baby was ready even if she wasn’t!”

5. "Can I donate my fat to my friend?"

Body fat distribution and cosmetic surgery are topics that can bring out some odd requests. One such request is the idea of “donating” fat to another person, as if it were a simple transfusion. While fat grafting is a legitimate procedure, the concept of donating fat to another person is not feasible.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once joked about donating her fat to her friend who wanted a bigger butt. She was serious, though, and I had to explain that it doesn’t quite work like that!”

6. "Will removing a mole make me look younger?"

Moles, especially those on the face, can be a cosmetic concern for many patients. Some patients believe that removing a mole might result in a dramatic improvement in their appearance, almost akin to turning back the clock. While mole removal can be aesthetically beneficial, the notion that it can make someone look significantly younger is a stretch.

Doctor’s Insight: “I’ve had patients expect a full facelift result from a simple mole removal. It’s important to manage expectations and explain that while mole removal can improve appearance, it’s not a time machine.”

7. "If I eat a lot of carrots, will I turn orange?"

Carotenemia, a condition caused by high levels of carotene in the blood, can give the skin an orange hue. However, the idea that eating a large number of carrots will make someone look like a human carrot is more myth than reality. Nonetheless, the question is common among patients who are concerned about dietary effects on their appearance.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once came in worried because they were eating a lot of carrots and had read somewhere that they might turn orange. I reassured them that while carotenemia is a real thing, it takes a lot more carrots than they were eating!”

8. "Can you write me a prescription for a vacation?"

The stress of modern life has led some patients to seek unconventional remedies from their doctors, including the request for a “prescription” for a vacation. While the sentiment behind the question is understandable—many people could benefit from a break—the idea of medicalizing a vacation is amusing.

Doctor’s Insight: “I once had a patient genuinely ask if I could prescribe them a vacation because their job wouldn’t let them take time off without a doctor’s note. I wish I could have obliged!”

9. "Will my tattoo show up on an X-ray?"

Tattoos are common, and some patients have concerns about how their body art might affect medical imaging. While tattoos are external and do not interfere with most imaging techniques, the fear of a tattoo somehow showing up on an X-ray or causing a problem during an MRI is not unheard of.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient was worried that their large tattoo would ‘mess up’ their X-ray. I had to explain that the ink wouldn’t show up at all and certainly wouldn’t interfere with the imaging.”

10. "Can I use super glue instead of stitches?"

The idea of using household items to fix medical problems is not new, but the concept of substituting medical-grade adhesives with something as rudimentary as super glue can be alarming. While some adhesives are used in medical settings, it’s crucial for patients to understand the difference between what is safe and what is not.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient asked if they could just use super glue on a cut instead of getting stitches. I explained the importance of proper wound care and the risks of infection if it wasn’t done correctly.”

11. "Can I stop taking my blood pressure medication if I feel fine?"

Hypertension is often dubbed the “silent killer” because it can be asymptomatic while causing significant harm to the body. Patients who feel fine may question the need to continue medication, not realizing that the absence of symptoms doesn’t mean the absence of disease.

Doctor’s Insight: “I’ve had patients who wanted to stop their medication because they ‘felt fine.’ It’s always a challenge to explain that the medication is likely the reason they’re feeling fine!”

12. "Can I eat junk food if I drink a lot of water?"

There’s a widespread belief that water can neutralize the negative effects of an unhealthy diet. Patients who love their junk food might try to rationalize their choices by assuming that drinking more water will somehow balance things out. Unfortunately, this is not how nutrition works.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once asked if drinking a lot of water would ‘cancel out’ their junk food habit. I had to break it to them that water, while important, isn’t a magic eraser for unhealthy eating.”

13. "Can you check if my brain is working correctly?"

The fear of cognitive decline or brain malfunction is common, and patients sometimes request reassurance that their brain is functioning properly. This question might arise from feelings of forgetfulness, stress, or even just a general concern about mental health.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once asked me to ‘check if their brain was working right.’ They were concerned about forgetfulness and wanted a full brain scan. We ended up discussing stress management instead!”

14. "Will eating spicy food burn a hole in my stomach?"

The relationship between spicy food and gastrointestinal issues is often misunderstood. While spicy food can irritate the stomach lining in some people, the notion that it can cause actual holes or ulcers is more myth than reality.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient was convinced that their love of spicy food was going to burn a hole in their stomach. I reassured them that while it might cause discomfort, it wouldn’t cause actual holes!”

15. "Can I be allergic to water?"

Aquagenic urticaria, an extremely rare condition where contact with water causes hives, is sometimes confused with the idea of being “allergic” to water. Most patients who ask this question are simply concerned about their skin’s reaction to water, not realizing that true water allergy is almost unheard of.

Doctor’s Insight: “I’ve had patients ask if they could be allergic to water because their skin got itchy after a shower. It’s rare, but possible, though usually it’s something else like soap causing the reaction.”

16. "Will cracking my knuckles give me arthritis?"

This is a classic medical myth that has persisted for generations. The belief that cracking knuckles leads to arthritis is widespread, but research has shown that there is no direct link between the two. Nonetheless, the habit can be annoying to others!

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient once came in worried that their knuckle-cracking habit was setting them up for arthritis. I explained that while it might irritate people around them, it wasn’t going to give them arthritis.”

17. "Can I train my body to need less sleep?"

Sleep is a vital part of health, and the idea of training the body to function on less sleep is appealing to many overworked individuals. Unfortunately, the body’s need for sleep is not something that can be easily altered without negative consequences.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient asked if they could ‘train’ their body to get by on four hours of sleep a night. I had to explain that while some people function on less sleep, it’s not something that can be trained without significant risks.”

18. "Can I take my vitamins all at once?"

The convenience of taking all vitamins at once might seem attractive, but it’s important to understand that some vitamins are better absorbed when taken at specific times or with certain foods. Overloading on vitamins can also lead to toxicity in some cases.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient wanted to know if they could take all their vitamins at once like a big ‘vitamin cocktail.’ I explained that some vitamins are better absorbed with food, and it’s best to follow the instructions.”

19. "Can I sneeze with my eyes open?"

This question stems from a curiosity about the body’s reflexes. The idea that sneezing with open eyes could lead to harm (such as eyeballs popping out) is more fiction than fact, but the reflex to close the eyes during a sneeze is strong and hard to overcome.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient asked if it was possible to sneeze with their eyes open. They had heard that your eyeballs could pop out if you tried. I reassured them that while it’s hard to do, their eyes were safe!”

20. "Will eating ice cream during a fever make it worse?"

The notion that cold foods like ice cream can worsen a fever is a common belief in some cultures. In reality, eating cold foods won’t affect the fever, and ice cream can even provide comfort to a sore throat or help with hydration.

Doctor’s Insight: “A patient was worried that eating ice cream while they had a fever would make it worse. I told them that it wouldn’t, and in fact, it might make them feel better!”