20 Genius Ways to Look Busy During Residency

The Intern’s Guide to Looking Busy (Even When You’re Not)

1. The Art of Looking Overwhelmed

• Perfecting the "perpetually busy" look is essential for survival.
  
  
• Walk with urgency, even if you have nowhere to go.
  
  
• Master the deep sigh + furrowed brow combo—it makes you seem important.
  
  
• Bonus points for carrying a clipboard, even if it’s blank.
  

2. The Universal "Chart Stare" Maneuver

• Pretend to review a patient’s chart like you’re deciphering ancient texts.
  
  
• Occasionally nod or frown as if solving a complex medical mystery.
  
  
• If someone approaches, casually flip a page to appear deep in thought.
  

3. The Strategic Computer Session

• Always have at least five tabs open: one EMR, one medical reference, and three random research papers.
  
  
• Type aggressively—no one questions a fast typist.
  
  
• Occasionally shake your head as if you just found a crucial lab result.
  
  
• If approached, say, "Just finishing this consult note!" and continue typing nonsense.
  

4. The Legendary "Hallway Hustle"

• Power walk through the hospital with a purpose, even if you’re just going to the vending machine.
  
  
• Occasionally glance at your pager or phone and mumble something like, "I’ll check on that STAT."
  
  
• If someone calls your name, respond with "One sec! Just handling something urgent."
  

5. The "Hidden Study Session" Tactic

• Carry a medical textbook—no one will bother an intern "studying."
  
  
• Open to a complicated diagram and periodically point at it thoughtfully.
  
  
• If questioned, reply, "Just reviewing before I discuss this with the attending."
  

6. The "Coffee Run Alibi"

• Getting coffee is a universal excuse to leave an awkward situation.
  
  
• Always offer to get coffee for an attending—it earns you brownie points.
  
  
• If caught doing nothing, respond, "Just grabbing coffee before my next patient!"
  

7. The Epic Supply Room Expedition

• Disappear into the supply room for a "quick restock."
  
  
• Browse syringes and gauze rolls with intense focus.
  
  
• If asked what you’re doing, sigh and mutter, "They never have the right size gloves."
  

8. The "Pretend to Be on the Phone" Trick

• Pick up your phone and say, "Yes, I’ll follow up on that!"
  
  
• Walk briskly down the hall while nodding in agreement.
  
  
• If someone approaches, hold up a finger and whisper, "One sec, it’s the attending."
  

9. The "Last-Minute Documentation Crisis"

• Always claim to be "finishing a progress note."
  
  
• If cornered, say, "Oh, I just have to update a few more orders."
  
  
• Type gibberish until the conversation passes.
  

10. The "Follow a Senior Resident" Maneuver

• Stick close to an overworked senior resident—they always look busy.
  
  
• Occasionally nod and say, "Yeah, totally agree."
  
  
• If asked what you’re doing, respond, "Just helping out with consults."
  

11. The "Random Page Check"

• Glance at your pager every few minutes, sigh, and mutter, "Again?"
  
  
• If your pager doesn’t go off, casually press a button to make it beep.
  
  
• Apologize to whoever you’re talking to and say, "Gotta check on this."
  

12. The "CT Scanner Walkabout"

• The radiology department is a great hiding spot—quiet, dimly lit, and full of computers.
  
  
• Pretend you’re waiting for imaging results.
  
  
• If someone asks why you’re there, say, "Just reviewing a critical scan."
  

13. The "Elevator Escape Plan"

• Ride the elevator up and down while scrolling through your phone.
  
  
• If someone enters, sigh deeply and say, "Nonstop all day."
  
  
• If questioned, mumble, "Just heading back to check on something."
  

14. The "Frequent Bathroom Break"

• The call room bathroom is your sanctuary—use it wisely.
  
  
• If caught leaving, say, "Had to wash my hands before a procedure."
  
  
• Bonus points for carrying gloves as "proof."
  

15. The "Clipboard as a Shield" Technique

• Always carry a clipboard—it instantly makes you look busy.
  
  
• Scribble random words while standing in a hallway.
  
  
• If someone asks for help, sigh and say, "Just wrapping up a few things."
  

16. The "Strategic Patient Check-In"

• Stand outside a patient’s room, glance at the monitor, and nod thoughtfully.
  
  
• Occasionally walk inside, adjust the IV pole, and leave.
  
  
• If caught, say, "Just making sure they’re stable."
  

17. The "Mystery Lab Walk"

• Stroll toward the lab as if retrieving important results.
  
  
• Check your watch, pretend to look frustrated, and turn back.
  
  
• If asked, say, "They’re still processing it."
  

18. The "ER Observation Strategy"

• Stand in the ER pretending to "help triage."
  
  
• Nod at random patients and say, "Let’s get labs on them."
  
  
• If an actual ER doc questions you, respond with, "Just observing workflow."
  

19. The "Pretend to Write Orders" Trick

• Grab a random chart and flip through pages like you’re deciding something important.
  
  
• Occasionally tap your pen against your lips in "deep thought."
  
  
• If questioned, say, "Just double-checking medication interactions."
  

20. The "Attending Sighting" Panic Mode

• If an attending appears, immediately pick up a phone or open a chart.
  
  
• Look busy reviewing labs, even if you have no idea what they mean.
  
  
• If spoken to, respond, "Oh, I was just about to call you about that patient!"