1. The patient who broke the waiting room silence with porn: “I was at my psychiatrist’s office. I take out my phone to google something — turns out the last thing I watched was porn. Really LOUD PORN. So that shit turned on… and it scared me so much that I dropped my phone under my seat. So the soundtrack in the waiting room was a woman moaning.” —Toya Davis, Facebook 2. This guy who really didn’t need to touch his doctor’s knee: “My husband went to the doctor for his knee, which was achy and clicking. The doctor assured him it wasn’t anything serious by saying, ‘If you were to feel my knee, it does the same thing.’ So [my] husband slowly reaches out and puts his hand on the doctor’s knee. Cue awkward silence for a few seconds until the doc said, ‘Please don’t touch my knee,’ and my husband left the room in mortified silence!” —alih26 3. This woman who just couldn’t hold it in: “I farted during a gyno exam, like when her face was right there.” —Sam Meehan, Facebook 4. The guy who got his crack shaved in front of everyone: “I was getting treatment for an ingrown hair near the top of my butt and had to go to wound care. Well, the hospital was having training that day. [There were] so many people in my room that we had to leave the door open for a second. No less than eight nurses and four innocent people got a great view of my pale, white butt being shaved.” —Harrison Campbell, Facebook 5. The patient who was caught on camera pooping in a $200,000 machine: “I went to the ER because I had a terrible stomach virus. I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t control my bowels, but the doctor ordered a CT scan because he thought I might have a gallstone. I was already doped up on morphine when they put me in the scanner. I realized I had to fart and ended up pooping my pants while being scanned. The tech saw me literally shit myself and caught it on camera…” —samanthar4888f0c08 6. This patient who was found naked and huddled like Gollum: “Once before surgery, I was told to change into a gown and wash up. I didn’t lock the bathroom door because I *thought* I was the only one in the pre-op room. As I was stark naked, huddled in the corner washing myself with paper towels and soap, a middle-aged man whom I recognized from the waiting room walked in with my surgeon who was showing him to the bathroom. They got a full-on, frontal view of me in my grotesque, Gollum-like appearance and just stared, shocked that they had intruded in my makeshift bathhouse.” —Kalen Costello, Facebook 7. This guy whose bodily fluids cost his doctor a new MacBook: “I was feeling unwell, and the doctor put the flat wooden stick on my tongue to check my throat. He put it too far. My gag reflex ignited and his desk, MacBook, clothes, chair, wall, and floor… They were coated completely in vomit.” 8. This very loopy patient who suggested anal: “I woke up from anesthesia after my first colonoscopy and was talking to my friend (apparently very loudly). I thought the doctor was really cute and told her ‘I’d let that doctor into my ass again any day of the week!’ Turns out he was right behind me. It led to a very awkward post-procedure checkup.” —alyssawas 9. This patient who got her doctor right in the nuts: “I was having a breast lump checked out (turned out to be a cyst) and had taken my top off while I sat on the table. As I swung my legs up so I could lay flat, I caught the doctor in the nuts with my foot. I spent the whole exam laughing, because that’s what I do in awkward situations, while he examined my boobs, clearly in quite considerable pain.” —beckyh4d0cee5f1 10. The girl who showed her doctor the wrong pair: “I made an appointment because I suspected I had pink eye, and was scheduled with a doctor I had never seen before. He had a VERY thick accent, and after taking a quick look at me he said, ‘Take off your blouses!’ to which I gave him a very shocked look. I reached down to take off my hoodie. He gave me a confused look back and said, ‘No, no’ — pointing to my eyes — ‘your GLASSES.’” —Allison Reaser, Facebook 11. This guy who ran into a nurse with his penis out: “After six hours without a break into my wife’s labor, I really needed to pee. There was a bathroom 10 feet away and I excused myself, saying, ‘I’ll be RIGHT back, I promise!’ I had just dropped my drawers when my wife let out a bloodcurdling scream. By reflex, I whirled around and ran out the door, clutching at my pants, still around my knees. I collided with a nurse in the hall and we went down. A second nurse came in to find me on top of the nurse (in front of my screaming wife), my derriere exposed to the world.” —Larry Short, Facebook 12. The woman who got caught stealing all the kids’ Band-Aids: “The doctor walked in right as I was shoving a bunch of Band-Aids into my purse from the drawer. He looked at me and said, ‘Those are for the kids!’ I was so embarrassed I said, ‘OK, fine. I’ll put them back.’” —Vicki Sitron, Facebook 13. The girl who made Valentine’s Day even worse: “I had an appointment at the OB-GYN on Valentine’s Day. Right after I propped my legs up in the stirrups and the doctor started my lady parts examination, I tried to make a joke by asking if I should have brought flowers. No, just no.” —Nikki Reese, Facebook 14. This girl who spent her first gyno visit on the floor: “I was really nervous to go to the gynecologist for the first time. I kept thinking it was going to be awkward or painful and I made myself hysterical waiting in the chair. I ended up fainting out of the chair onto the floor, basically naked, and woke up to the doctor yelling down the hallway to the nurses for help.” —Abi Brennan, Facebook 15. This person who just made things really fucking weird: “I had been to see the doctor (female) several times about the same issue (intimate) and was examined every time. One time I tried to break the ice a bit by saying, ‘I feel bad, all this action and I haven’t even asked you out…’ She didn’t laugh.” —kirstya43b0a70e0 16. This woman who cracked way more than her back: “My chiropractor was cracking my back. He pushed a little harder than normal and I farted. I also acted like it didn’t happen, which made it more awkward.” —Cait Rose Boutwell, Facebook 17. This patient who wore their gown in a very ~unique~ fashion: “My first time at the gyno when I was 15, I attempted to put the gown on. There was a hole in the front that I thought was for the doctor to check my boobs. When the nurse came in, she laughed and said it was supposed to go over my head. I was mortified.” —Lindsay Smith, Facebook 18. This girl who took matters into her own hands: “I was at the OB-GYN earlier this year and it was the first time I received an internal sonogram. When the nurse left the room, I thought I had to put the wand in myself, so I did, no lube on it at all. The nurse walked back in as I swung the cord over the stirrups (wand still inside me) trying to sit on the chair. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.” —trisarahtops53 19. This patient who got hot for a middle-aged nurse: “I hit on a 50-year-old nurse after my wisdom teeth were removed. I’m straight, so it came as a surprise to my dad.” —Jenn Rogers, Facebook 20. This patient who ruined some white sheets: “I had diarrhea one time and I had to lie on the [hospital] bed. The doctor came and checked my heart rate, and then she pressed on my stomach, which triggered me shitting all over the bed’s white covers. I had to walk to the bathroom down the hall in shame to clean myself.” —beckyl4fa689d82
21. The girl who showed off her thong to a friend’s dad: “I was asked to put on a gown so the doctor could check my spinal symmetry. Underwear choice for the exam: black lace thong. My classmate’s dad is my pediatrician. Needless to say, I will never go over to their house again.” caitlind4f54227d5 22. The patient who tried to spit game at her doctor and spit blood instead: “I woke up from my wisdom teeth removal still very messed up — no verbal filter, no bodily control, etc. When my extremely hot oral surgeon came into the room to check on me, I told him I thought he was gorgeous and that I would love to go out with him sometime even though I was too young for him. I tried to take the cotton out of my mouth, bled everywhere, then started crying because the blood made such a mess. I still tried to give the hot doctor my number. Shockingly, he never called!” —CarolineElizabeth 23. The woman who pushed a little too hard: “I had to get a smear test and the nurse had just finished taking the sample when all of a sudden the clamp shoots out of my vagina and onto the floor with a loud metallic clang. After an awkward silence, the nurse just said that at least I know now that I would have no trouble giving birth. I tried to laugh it off by saying that it must happen all the time. She said it didn’t. I was mortified.” —sarah-jaynes 24. This guy who got way too excited during his first STD exam in college: “When I was in college I went in for an STD screening. I got aroused during the screening and ejaculated on the doctor and nurse. I. Was. Mortified.” —johnc45913f9b8 25. …And then dickslapped his dermatologist: “I also got aroused at the dermatologist because he was running his hands all over my body doing a mole check. When he pulled down my underwear, I kinda dickslapped him.” —johnc45913f9b8 Source
