Wiggly veins, iodine stains and diagnosing yourself on a daily basis - there are some things only medical students can relate to. If you're currently on the night shift, fearing blindness from computer glare or struggling to enjoy your burger and chips after a 2 hour myocardial infarction lecture, this one's for you. Worried that 'professionalism' is coming closer by the day, but you still feel like a teenager? More interested in a good blood stain remover (salt, shampoo and cold water - you're welcome) than going clubbing? You're not alone, we promise... 1- 'OMG you're studying medicine? You must be SO clever!' One of many terrifying assumptions made by your family, friends and the general public. 2- You're NEVER home at the same time as your non-med flatmates 3- Except when you all stumble home at 3am - you've got textbooks, they've got takeaway 4- A girl in med school? So you're gonna be a nurse? SO MUCH NOPE 5- Yes, there are male nurses. HOW are people still confused by this? 6- When the diagnosis is confirmed, you're asked for a list of differentials... then shot down for suggesting something other than said diagnosis 7- Having to take off your nail varnish for every practicum 8- 'Ever done a PR exam?' 'Yes, I have'. 'Great. For a little extra practice, could you just examine Mr. Jones? He hasn't opened his bowels for two weeks.' 'Sure, no problem at all'. 9- 'Sharp scratch?' Oh yeah that's code for stumble around your body with a sharp object until I find a vein. Won't hurt a bit... 10- The joy of finding a fecal stain remover that actually works 11- Small talk with a stranger = talking about what you're studying = receiving a list of ailments you're expected to instantly remedy 12- Come for a pint? Sorry, got to wash my scrubs, eat a piece of toast, do my abstract edits then find a cure for cancer 13- Final year students = unpaid foundation year doctors 14- Surgeons be like: 15- You want to win this argument? You better be giving me some PROOF 16- The moment your housemate texts to say they've left you food to heat up After a 13 hour shift... 17- This is definitely not a zebra 18- Attempting to interact with people who have not become nocturnal 5am? It must be nap time! 19- Hoping people take your dirty, creased up lab coat as a sign you're too busy saving lives to deal with that ironing shit
20- Everyone else is Googling cat videos, you're watching YouTube clips of how to perform a prostate examination 21- 'So what do you want to be when you're qualified?' *Commences freak out about getting through two years as a doctor without killing someone before attempting to answer question* 22- Your room during finals Ah, medicine. The art of fixing the human body while ruining your own in the process... 23- When you need to Google the likes of Balanitis, Gastroschisis or Bromhidrosis in Starbucks 24- Being so hungry and tired the leftovers on your patient's food tray start to look pretty damn good 25- Draining a rotten abscess < talking about student loans 26- Consultant: 'What's the most likely cause of pancreatitis in this overweight, middle-aged alcoholic? Student: 'Scorpion sting' 27- Common things are common Except when the diagnosis is rare... 28- When people joke that you've got rocks in your lab coat pockets Nope, just all the shit I need to save your life. Now kindly piss off. 29- But remember guys, medicine is a marathon Just keep going and you'll get there in the end. Source
Scorpion sting!! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!! Read more at: http://forum.facmedicine.com/threads/29-things-only-medical-students-understand.23015/
