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5 kinds of Doctors you'll come across in a hospital

Discussion in 'Medical Students Cafe' started by Malik Muhammad Ali, Jan 14, 2014.

  1. Malik Muhammad Ali

    Malik Muhammad Ali Active member

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    So after graduating from the Med school I realized that it wasn't so bad. Just kidding. It was bad. But then again I had loads of fun too. Anyways so when I looked back at my five years as a medical student I realized that both the fun part of a rotation and the misery was almost entirely dependent on the doctor I was rotating with. So based on my observation I categorized my mentors into five groups.

    1. THE REALLY COOL DOC: "The name's Bond, James Bond" .. Seriously, did you lose your way to the theater and end up in a hospital? As you watch this spic and span doctor enter with everything in place and a smile to top it all up you realize this is who you want to be. During his rounds he is empathetic and caring and knows his stuff well. Wow. Could it get any better? Best of all he gives you a chance to speak and make your point without passing any unwanted remarks or judgments. So by the end of your rotation you are all confident, you have gained some knowledge about the rotation and you are still yearning to learn more from this guy. Best time ever!

    2. DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN: "You rang?" When you first see this guy all you can think of is Lurch from The Addams family. I mean did you sleep well in the mortuary last night doctor? Or maybe say hello to the cadavers sir. This doctor looks totally shabby and is definitely sleep walking half the time in the hospital hallways. Now there is a 50/50 chance of him teaching you anything during the rotation depending upon his sleep deprivation status. But the best part is that he won't notice your absence so all the more to be late on a round or take a tour to the cafeteria without getting into trouble. All in all, fun but not exciting.

    3. Le MISERABLE DOCTOR: His wife left him, the system doesn't care for him, the worlds coming to an end and medical students should never have graduated are the lines you keep hearing from this one. He will be least interested in teaching you any constructive stuff. All you'll hear will be complaints and more complaints until you realize that people like him are the reason for the high suicidal rates among the doctors. This rotation passed slower than the rest and by the end of it you may have probably ordered yourself a .45 pistol on Ebay. Terrible time of the year this one.

    4. THE SARCASTIC ONE: This guy will keep you on your toes 24/7. Leaving no opportunity to make you feel like crap and passing snide remarks each time you get something wrong you realize why people hate doctors so much. Now there is an 80% chance that this one will be a surgeon (not that I have anything against the surgeons. Purely my personal experience. No offence) God complex, perfectionism and constant urge to humiliate someone are some of the weapons he'll carry around. By the end of this rotation you'll be turning in a Le Miserable Doctor yourself and wondering whether to shoot him or yourself with that gun you purchased from Ebay.

    5. THE OPPRESSED ONE: This guy will remind you of your childhood days. When there was this kid who everyone used to bully for no apparent reason. And he wouldn't stand up for himself rather always act like he had Stockholm Syndrome. So during your rounds you'll realize that instead of looking up to him as a mentor he is looking up to you. He is just sad. At first you get a thrill at getting the authority (Hmmm.. So this is how you end up becoming "The Sarcastic Doctor") but then you get a feeling of guilt and try to cheer him up and act helpful during rotations. You should probably carry a pack of tissues just in case an emotional scene erupts between you two. But this rotation will teach you how to use authority and yet remain humble.
     

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