5 Signs You’ve Met a Sociopath But Just Don’t Know It

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What do we call people with no conscience who seem to have absolute disregard to other people, society and societal rules? The usual… Psychopaths and sociopaths! You must be thinking Buffalo Bill, Patrick Bateman, Hannibal Lecter, John Doe, the Joker, and the list goes on. If Hollywood isn’t your cup of tea, then images of Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Charles Manson definitely pop into your head. You are right to think so, but these are not the most accurate, and rather realistic, examples. Actually, there might be examples that you know of on a personal level!

Psychopathy and sociopathy are perhaps two of the most confused terms in the fields of psychology and criminology. While these terms sound very similar, almost identical, they do, in fact, differ in their characteristics. Both disorders are categorized as Antisocial Personality Disorders in the The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) as they share major characteristics.

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Although many experts disagree on the significance of these differences, in his article “How to Tell a Sociopath from a Psychopath”, Dr. Scott A. Bonn offers a compelling hypothesis in which he suggests that the major difference is that sociopathy is a learnt behavior, unlike psychopathy which is genetics, given sociopaths’ ability to feel empathy as well as form emotional attachments to certain people, unlike psychopathy which is genetics. Also, he suggests childhood trauma and physical/emotional abuse are possible causes of sociopathy.

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Diagnosed sociopath M.E. Thomas, author, law professor, and founder of the website Sociopath World, says in her article ‘Confessions of a Sociopath’:

“You would like me if you met me. I have the kind of smile that is common among television show characters and rare in real life, perfect in its sparkly teeth dimensions and ability to express pleasant invitation. I’m the sort of date you would love to take to your ex’s wedding—fun, exciting, the perfect office escort. And I’m just the right amount of successful so that your parents would be thrilled if you brought me home.”

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So, is it possible that you might personally know a sociopath? Unfortunately, it is! Here are five signs of sociopaths that will tell if you might have met a sociopath but don’t know it:

1. They have a grandiose sense of self

Sociopaths tend to entitle themselves to certain things, and claim them as their own, as they think it is their right to do so. When confronted, they do not find anything wrong with their actions or themselves. They can even turn tables to make it seem the other is the selfish one, as they are greatly manipulative. This sense of self righteousness is supported by their artificial charm, which in turn stems from their manipulation, and so it can be seen as a loop/cycle. Although they do appear quite attractive personality-wise, they are in fact domineering, and consider others as mere instruments to be used for self-indulgence. On the business level, they are highly authoritarian, sometimes almost tyrannical, when given the opportunity.

2. They are mischievous, conning, or have behavior problems

Usually, sociopaths have a history of behavioral and/or academic trouble, but only in rare cases are they in trouble with the law. A sociopath lie pathologically that it becomes part of their personality. They are extremely conning and know how to easily convince people, however, they have difficulties in both making and keeping friends. The compassion a sociopath demonstrates is usually simulated rather than felt, and serves a certain motive. Many people think that sociopaths do not have ethics, however according to Jack Pemment, in his article “Psychopathy versus sociopathy: Why the distinction has become crucial”, he explained that sociopaths do have a sense of morality, unlike psychopaths, and that they appear to be satisfied by their own antisocial behavior.

3. They are irresponsible or unreliable

A sociopath is not interested in others’ needs, lives, or even safety, and is oblivious to the damage he/she cause them. Sometimes they are not concerned about their very own safety as well. On the personal level, when in trouble, they tend to quickly accuse someone else of being guilty, even when the action is of their own doing. On both the personal and business levels, they fail to plan ahead or rather lack a realistic vision for the future. They exploit others for their own advantage without a second thought.

4. They have poor behavioral controls or an impulsive nature

When dealing with a sociopath, you find yourself in a cycle of short periods of peaceful expressions of love and/or friendship, followed by periods of rage that can sometimes develop into abuse, and once again the short periods of emotional and mental piece, and the cycle goes on. This cycle creates a sense of helplessness in the person abused, whom a sociopath considers a victim. These poor rage control issues lead to repeated violent assaults on other people as well as, if not especially, on animals. Sometimes a matter that would make a normal person angry, would mean nothing to a sociopath, and yet that which might be of no worth to a normal person, can outrage them.

5. They are unable to feel guilt, shame, or remorse

“End justifies the means” is perhaps the most descriptive idiom of how sociopaths feel about their actions. When there’s a certain goal in mind a sociopath wants to reach, they have no problem with the devastation they can cause others with whichever method they use to reach that outcome. They will let nothing stand in their way, and, therefore, have no remorse. This can be explained by their shallow emotions and lack of empathy; as well as the grandiose sense of self. Their lack of remorse and guilt stems from their ability to rationalize the pain they inflict on others, and their inability to empathize with the pain of their victims.

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