Life is stressful, and complaining may be considered by many as an extension of being absolutely normal. However, complaining affects our brains and our physical health negatively. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real dissatisfaction with our daily lives. Negative stress can also exacerbate chronic health problems, such as diabetes or asthma. Other physical complaints may include increased headaches, joint pain, and depression. One way to combat these symptoms is through learning how to stop useless complaining. 1. Nourish A Positive Attitude Change the way you think. Of course, this is far easier said than done, but it is quite possible. Cultivate a positive spin on how you perceive the problem. For example, it is easy to stress over having the perfect child, job, or date. Accept that life is just plain messy. No one and no situation is or can be ‘perfect.’ Accept the situation for what it is and move forward. Keep the pro side heavily weighed against the negatives. When you inevitably experience set-backs, move forward and remember that everyone has them. 2. Learn To Adapt The only sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. Change is coming whether it’s tomorrow, next month, or next year. Some life changes are significantly sad. Allow a period of grieving. Sometimes, setting a daily time to be sad about the change can help. Acceptance of a situation helps you to adapt positively to life’s changes. Take up the challenge of seeing the positive in a situation, even if it is a small good. Think of the experience as an opportunity rather than an untenable obstacle. 3. Be More Mindful The past can never be changed and worry about the future is futile; complaining about either is a pointless exercise. Rather, move in the present time and cope only with the present situation as it unfolds. Recognize negative thoughts and replace them with a positive spin. Rather than, “Oh, not the alarm again” think of all that can be accomplished in a bright, new day. While it may sound cliché, learn to graciously accept all that life has to offer–the good and the bad. Even bad circumstances will change, and can teach you more mindful attitudes, such as patience. 4. Be Assertive Giving up the bad habit of complaining does not mean allowing yourself to become someone else’s doormat. Assertiveness is the way to tell others what your needs are and how these can be met. Convey confidence through something as simple as posture. Stand up straight, have a firm handshake, and always look people in the eye. Enunciate and speak clearly, you want people to understand your point. Avoid rambling, which may lead to awkward and unproductive pauses. Be firm and express what you want clearly. Don’t leave your meaning to guess work. 5. Be Less Judgmental This includes yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and being critical leads to complaining. Should of, would of, and could of are phrases that’s better left out of your vocabulary. Let go of control. It is simply impossible to be in control of every situation, sometimes it is best to lower the stress and simply roll with the consequences. List your strengths to build confidence and, on a better day, list your weaknesses and how to downplay them. Compliment yourself and others. Acknowledge a job well done, or a nicely fitting suit or dress. 6. Be Responsible Own your mistakes, but never the mistakes of others. The first step to being responsible is self-respect. Begin by thinking highly of yourself and your decision-making process. There is no reason not to. Keep people in your life who respect you, and fail miserably at taking advantage of you. Eject chronic complainers. Let them carry their complaints elsewhere. Through garnering people in your life that like and respect you, you will naturally reciprocate the respect. 7. Keep Moving Forward Absolutely refuse to allow life’s obstacles to keep you from moving onward. Sure, there are people and situations that will annoy you. This is no excuse to dwell on the negativity. Remember, “this too shall pass.” The thing that is creating a problem cannot last forever. Most problems are temporary and fleeting. Understanding this is the key to moving forward. Take note of self-doubt and then release these thoughts. Spending time in self-doubt is ultimately a waste. Make your decision and follow through. Source
Reading this brought me to what Abdul Baha says about happiness ... "Happiness consists of two kinds; physical and spiritual. The physical happiness is limited; its utmost duration is one day, one month, one year. It hath no result. Spiritual happiness is eternal and unfathomable. This kind of happiness appeareth in one’s soul with the love of God and suffereth one to attain to the virtues and perfections of the world of humanity. Therefore, endeavor as much as thou art able in order to illuminate the lamp of thy heart by the light of love." It makes sense also if you are truly happy it will stop a lot of the complaining one would ordinarily revert to when not.
