7 Weirdest Cures Patients Have Tried Before Seeing a Doctor

1. Garlic in Every Orifice: The Vampire Repellent Gone Wrong

Garlic has long been celebrated for its antibacterial properties and is often touted as a natural remedy for colds, high blood pressure, and even cancer prevention. But some patients take garlic's medicinal reputation to the extreme. From inserting garlic cloves in the ear for ear infections to placing them under pillows for better sleep, garlic's magical properties have earned it a place in almost every weird cure list.

The Wildest One? Inserting garlic into the rectum or vagina to treat infections. Some patients believe garlic’s strong smell and supposed healing powers can cure yeast infections, sexually transmitted diseases, or even hemorrhoids.

Why It's Dangerous: Garlic can cause irritation and burns when applied to sensitive areas of the body, especially mucous membranes. Inserting foreign objects, particularly in areas like the vagina or rectum, can lead to infections, tissue damage, and complications that require medical intervention. While garlic has antimicrobial properties, it’s far from a substitute for antifungal or antibiotic medications.

Lesson: Garlic belongs in the kitchen, not in your body’s cavities!

2. Raw Meat on a Black Eye: A Myth from the Movies

We’ve all seen it in movies: a character gets punched in the face, and the next scene shows them with a slab of raw steak on their eye. This peculiar home remedy isn’t just a Hollywood trope—it’s something real patients still try.

The Theory: The idea is that the cold meat will reduce swelling and bruising, acting similarly to an ice pack.

The Reality: While cold does help reduce swelling, raw meat poses serious risks of infection. Meat can harbor bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella, which can easily infect open wounds, leading to severe skin and eye infections.

Why It’s Dangerous: Meat isn't sterile, and applying it to a fresh injury can introduce harmful bacteria to the skin and underlying tissue. Using a proper cold compress is much safer and just as effective for reducing inflammation.

Lesson: Skip the steak, and opt for a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a clean towel.

3. Bleach for "Cleansing" the Body: A Chemical Nightmare

In recent years, the concept of "detoxing" has taken an alarming turn, with patients attempting to ingest or inject household products like bleach in the belief that it will cleanse their system of toxins. This method has been widely popularized by pseudoscience advocates who falsely claim that bleach can kill cancer cells, cure autism, or even eliminate COVID-19.

The Reality: Bleach is a potent chemical designed to disinfect surfaces—not human bodies. It’s highly corrosive and can cause severe damage to the gastrointestinal system, leading to vomiting, diarrhea, and internal bleeding.

Why It’s Dangerous: Consuming or injecting bleach can cause burns, respiratory distress, and even death. It’s one of the most dangerous “cures” patients have attempted, often requiring emergency medical attention.

Lesson: Bleach is for cleaning your kitchen, not your insides. Always consult medical professionals, not internet conspiracy theories.

4. Urine Therapy: The Golden Miracle

Urine therapy has roots in ancient medical practices, with some cultures believing that drinking one’s own urine could cure a variety of ailments, including acne, allergies, and even cancer. In recent years, there has been a resurgence of this odd practice, with patients collecting and drinking their urine in hopes of reaping its supposed health benefits.

The Reality: Urine is a waste product. While it’s mostly water, it also contains waste substances filtered from the blood, like urea, creatinine, and ammonia, which the body has worked to eliminate.

Why It’s Dangerous: While drinking urine might not cause immediate harm in small amounts, it’s far from beneficial. Long-term use can lead to dehydration and electrolyte imbalances, and it can expose the person to harmful toxins and pathogens if they have a urinary tract infection.

Lesson: Urine is waste for a reason—let your body do its job and avoid recycling it back into your system.

5. Potatoes in Socks: The Magic Tuber Cure

It’s a common folk remedy: placing sliced potatoes in your socks overnight to draw out toxins and cure everything from colds to the flu. Patients swear that the potatoes turn black, proving that the "toxins" have been absorbed by the tuber.

The Reality: While potatoes can absorb moisture (and thus turn black from oxidation), they do not have the ability to draw out toxins from the body. Any color change is due to simple chemical reactions, not magical healing properties.

Why It’s Dangerous: While this remedy isn’t particularly harmful, it’s a perfect example of patients opting for unproven methods over actual treatments. Relying on potatoes rather than seeking proper medical attention can delay diagnosis and care for serious illnesses.

Lesson: Potatoes are great in soup, but they won’t fix a cold. Stick with proven treatments like rest, hydration, and over-the-counter medications.

6. Onion in the Ear: The Smelly Secret Weapon

Many people believe that onions have powerful medicinal properties, and while they do have some health benefits when eaten, patients have gone to extremes. One common practice is placing a slice of onion in the ear to treat ear infections.

The Idea: The theory is that the onion will “suck out” the infection or relieve pain through its antibacterial properties.

The Reality: There’s no scientific evidence that this method works. While onions do contain sulfur compounds that have mild antibacterial properties, placing them in the ear won’t effectively target an infection, especially one deep within the ear canal.

Why It’s Dangerous: Inserting foreign objects like onions can block the ear canal, causing further complications like impaction, irritation, or worsening of the infection. For ear infections, proper medical treatment is essential.

Lesson: Onions are best left in the kitchen and on your plate—not in your ear.

7. Turpentine and Sugar: A Toxic Duo

Turpentine, a solvent derived from tree resin, was once used in traditional medicine, but its use has fallen out of favor for obvious reasons. However, some patients still use turpentine, mixing it with sugar and ingesting it to "cleanse" their bodies of parasites.

The Idea: The belief stems from historical use in small amounts as a deworming agent. Some modern-day users claim it can rid the body of parasites, infections, and even candida overgrowth.

The Reality: Turpentine is a poison. Ingesting it can lead to a wide range of dangerous side effects, including dizziness, nausea, respiratory failure, and organ damage. Sugar doesn't negate the toxic effects of turpentine.

Why It’s Dangerous: The ingestion of turpentine, even in small amounts, can cause severe toxicity. Patients who attempt this remedy often need emergency care, especially if they've taken it repeatedly.

Lesson: Turpentine belongs in your garage, not in your body.