Relationships are hard work enough; but throw in the complexities of pursuing a demanding medical career and it can feel impossible at times. Luckily, I have a pretty solid relationship. . .despite the fact that sometimes, my job makes me pretty obnoxious. 1. Anatomical terms roll off my tongue when I attempt dirty talk. “Your mandible is looking really chiseled today, baby.” 2. There’s a medical explanation for everything. Everything. I get up off the bed and stumble after a romp. Boyfriend has a smug grin. “Don’t get too excited that’s just my orthostatic hypotension.” 3. My vacation ideas aren’t usually very good. “Let’s go to Philadelphia.” “Okay, what do you want to do in Philly?” “Mütter Museum.” “I like museums. What kind of museum is it?” “Uh. . .a medical one.” “. . .” “. . .” 4. I don’t give good directions. 5. I’m too literal to appreciate Valentine’s Day. “This doesn’t look like a heart at all. At best it’s an antiquated and crude rendering of a woman’s buttocks.” “It’s the best heart I could draw!” “Do I need to dig out Gray’s Anatomy again?” 6. I ruin movies and tv shows. “What on earth does he think he’s going to do with that banana bag? Really? Where he’s poking around right there? Acting. Not gonna find a vein there, buddy.” “Why are everyone’s scrubs so form fitting?” “That is a waste of gauze. Such a waste of gauze.” “REALLY DIDN’T ANYONE ADVISING THIS TELEVISION SHOW INSTRUCT YOU ON HOW TO TAKE A PULSE?” 7. I’m really intense about illnesses. *sneeze* “Oh my god are you getting sick? Are you febrile?” “I think I just had dust in my nose.” “Are you feeling congested? Should I bulb your nares? Here, let me auscultate your chest.” “What my chest?” “No crackles.” 8. I suck at expressing my feelings. “I love you.” “I too experience a rush of oxytocin, develop hyperhidrosis and palpitations whenever I see you. I find I experience intense feelings of devotion and my genitals receive more blood than would be the case with a non-attractive control.” Source
