A Doctor Is Developing Breast Implants That Will Last For Just Two Weeks

Do you sometimes wish you could have larger breasts, but only when it’s convenient for you? Well, you may soon be in luck, as plastic surgeon Dr. Norman Rowe is in the process of developing a newfangled thing he is calling “vacation boobs“–an injection which, unlike normal implants, only lasts for about two to three weeks.

Dr. Rowe has already invented an injection he calls “Insta-boobs”–implants that last for 24-hours and cost $2500. The main purpose of those is to allow women seeking breast implants to see what having larger breasts is actually like.

However, Dr. Rowe says he has had two patients so far come back to do another boob test run, because the 24-hours wasn’t enough to make a decision.

He believes the “vacation breasts” will not only be useful for women who need more time to decide if implants are right for them, but also women who just want boobs for a special occasion, such as a wedding or a vacation. He also says that because he imagines there will be a larger demand for them than for the “Insta-boobs,” the procedure may even cost less.

This does not seem like the best idea. If only because I’m not clear on where whatever he injects into your boobs would actually go once they deflate. But also because according to Dr. Jennifer Ashton, ABC News’ senior medical contributor, there are dangers such as getting an infection or a hematoma. Not only that, but there is no way of knowing the long term side effects of this would even be.

I mean, how sad would it be if you literally died from some infection you got as a result of paying an exorbitant amount of money to have fake boobs for only a couple weeks for a trip to Cancun? Your funeral would be so awkward.

And what if you met the love of your life while walking around with temporary fake boobs, and you literally had to explain “Just so you know. These boobs will be gone in a couple weeks. They are temporary vacation boobs. For festive occasions.”

I don’t know that this it is necessary to walk around with fake boobs for two weeks to decide if you actually want them, or to find out what it’s like to have larger breasts. I would imagine that most women who want them already have their minds made up–and besides, I figure walking around with some chicken cutlets would have the same effect, weight wise and they’d be a heck of a lot cheaper.

However, if you’re really unsure, buy me a drink and I’ll just show you the inch-deep grooves in my shoulders and complain about how I look crazy in turtlenecks and can’t buy button-up blouses for an hour.

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