As A Doctor, What Has A Patient Done That Caused You To Burst Out In Laughter?

This question was originally posted on Quora.com and was answered by Robert Miller, M.D. from SUNY Downstate Medical Center (1972)



I have been in practice for 40+ years, so I thought I could keep it together, regardless of what a patient might say. I was wrong!

Not long ago, I saw a long-time patient of mine. She is an African-American woman in her early 70’s, originally from New Orleans. Over the years, she has had several periods in her life during which she had fallen on difficult economic times and had lost her insurance. Her medical problem was one which was acutely distressful and terribly uncomfortable for her. It was also a problem I could easily alleviate in an office visit with an injection of a certain medication. During her uninsured times, I would treat her pro bono. She was always very grateful, and I could sleep better knowing I was able to help someone in need.

Recently, she visited me with a repeat of the same problem. We had finished taking care of business, when she said, in her charming New Orleans accent, “Dr. Miller, you are such a nice person. I know you must be a Christian. Can I give you a hug?” As she closed in to deliver the embrace, I mentioned that I was not Christian, but, in fact, Jewish (albeit, the type that hasn’t seen the inside of a temple since my Bar Mitzvah). My patient’s eyes all but bulged out of their sockets as she jumped back, acting as if I had undergone spontaneous combustion. With a shocked look on her face, she said, “You a Jew??” I affirmed that was indeed what I had told her. Her response was, “But…you’re so NICE!”

I supposed I should have been offended, but it struck me as hilarious that I had been stereotyped and profiled by a woman who grew up in the segregated South. I knew I was going to lose it, so I quickly excused myself, ran into the lab, and, in front of my bemused staff started laughing until the tears were streaming from my eyes.

I’ve seen her a number of times since, and she was as charming as always. I’m sure she meant no insult to me. Rather, she was clearly indoctrinated with the stereotype of “The Jew.” I informed her that neither could I fly, nor am I rich, nor can I shift shapes, and that I hardly ever drink the blood of Christian Children. When I was ready to leave the room, I informed her that I was on my way to our monthly World Domination meeting. We then both had a good laugh, and she delivered the hug that was promised on her previous visit.

8/22/19 edit: I’m stunned by the number of upvotes this post has garnered, and I am grateful for the thoughtful comments my little story seems to have generated. Sad to say, my own ability to find humor in that particular situation might have been dampened if it had occurred within the past few days. For someone like me, raised in Brooklyn among shattered souls sporting tattoos of numbers on their forearms, the recent ramping up of rhetoric regarding the dysloyalty and fictitious “dual allegiance” of Jews, spewed by the far left, far right, and by the President, is chilling. These are the same tropes that have resulted in lethal scapegoating of the Jews from the time of the pharaohs until….well, until the next shooting. Unlike the innocent, genuine surprise exhibited by the patient in my story, the tone of the statements coming from our elected officials strikes me as calculated, mean-spirited, and designed to stir hatred towards history’s conveniently scapegoated “villains.”

Still, both my patient and I enjoy a good laugh whenever she comes to the office. Happily, I don’t think that will change, in spite of the garbage emanating from cynical, self-serving demagogues.

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