Doctors vs. Their Own Health: A Battle of Hypocrisy

“Do as I say, not as I do” – The Unofficial Doctor's Motto

Let’s get one thing straight: we doctors know better. That’s why we went through a decade of studying, sacrificed our social lives, and developed permanent caffeine dependencies. But knowing better doesn’t mean doing better — especially when it comes to our own health. Ask any physician when they last followed the very advice they dish out daily, and you’ll likely get nervous laughter, creative excuses, or blatant deflection.

Let’s explore the very real, very funny reasons why doctors are the worst patients — illustrated with painfully relatable examples that’ll make every doctor reading this say, “Guilty!”

1. The Annual Check-Up That Happens Once Every 8 Years

Doctors: “You should get a yearly check-up, just to catch things early.”

Also doctors: hasn’t seen a GP since medical school orientation day.

We can lecture patients on the importance of preventive care, quote guidelines from memory, and warn about silent killers like hypertension. But the moment someone asks when we last had our blood pressure checked, we suddenly remember an emergency surgery we need to be in.

2. The Doctor Who Googled His Own Symptoms at 2 AM

Doctors: “Please don’t Google your symptoms. You’ll think you’re dying when it’s just gas.”

Also doctors: Googles ‘intermittent upper left quadrant pain, night only, after shawarma’ while lying in bed, convinced it’s a rare form of retroperitoneal lymphoma.

We scold patients for relying on “Dr. Google” but when it’s our own bodies, we transform into online sleuths diagnosing conditions that haven’t been seen since the 1800s. Because of course, the occasional chest twinge must mean dissection — not anxiety and 4 cups of coffee.

3. The White Coat Who Hates Needles

Doctors: “Don’t worry, it’s just a little prick.”

Also doctors: Sweats profusely and turns away when getting their own blood drawn.

Yes, the same doctors who insert central lines and cannulate in collapsing veins without flinching suddenly become cartoon characters the moment someone approaches with a needle aimed at their arm. It’s not fear. It’s... cardiovascular respect.

4. The Workaholic With Pneumonia

Doctors: “If you’re sick, rest. Take time off work.”

Also doctors: Rounds on patients with a fever of 39.5°C, coughing like a chainsaw, whispering, “I’m fine, I just need fluids.”

We are the only profession where calling in sick is seen as weakness — even when we have communicable diseases. Somehow, staying home when sick is “not professional,” but infecting half the hospital is… dedication?

5. The Coffee-for-Breakfast Nutrition Plan

Doctors: “Eat a balanced diet, avoid skipping meals.”

Also doctors: survives on vending machine coffee and leftover biscuits from the nurse’s station.

Many doctors teach nutrition as part of chronic disease management. But ask them what they ate today and it’s likely: “Nothing yet, just four coffees, a gummy vitamin, and someone’s abandoned banana.”

6. The Fitness Advice From Someone Who Hasn’t Moved Since Residency

Doctors: “Exercise 150 minutes a week.”

Also doctors: wheezes after taking the stairs, considers CPR training a cardio session.

We’re full of encouragement when it comes to physical activity, but when we have a free hour, what do we do? Scroll on our phones in bed because “it’s been a long week” (every week). Gym memberships are just donations at this point.

7. The Denial Queen (or King)

Doctors: “Early detection saves lives. Get checked!”

Also doctors: has had rectal bleeding for 6 months but keeps saying “it’s probably hemorrhoids.”

We’ve diagnosed thousands of pathologies, detected cancer early in countless patients — yet when it comes to our own symptoms, we either brush them off or pretend they don’t exist. If hypochondria is one extreme, denial is the doctor default.

8. The Doctor Who Self-Prescribes (Everything)

Doctors: “Self-medication is dangerous and should be avoided.”

Also doctors: has a drawer full of antibiotics, NSAIDs, antihistamines, and a bottle labeled “Might Be Diazepam.”

We don’t recommend it, but the temptation of writing ourselves a little “something” when we’re feeling off is too easy. Why bother booking an appointment when your BNF is bookmarked and your prescription pad is still warm?

9. The Master of Ignoring Red Flags

Doctors: “Never ignore warning signs like unexplained weight loss or fatigue.”

Also doctors: has lost 5 kg, hasn’t slept in 4 days, has heart palpitations but blames it on paperwork stress.

Every week we warn patients not to ignore the “red flags.” Yet somehow we justify our own with bizarre explanations. “I’m tired because of stress.” “I’m losing weight because I cut back on sugar 3 months ago.” “I haven’t eaten sugar, right?”

10. The Doctor Who Forgets They're Human Too

Doctors: “Mental health is important. Please seek help if you’re struggling.”

Also doctors: cries silently in the parking lot, wipes tears, and goes to clinic pretending all is fine.

The stigma around mental health is improving, but doctors are still champions at bottling it up. We can refer half a dozen patients to counseling in a week and still feel like seeking help ourselves is somehow not allowed.

11. The “I’m Fine” Syndrome

Doctors: “Listen to your body.”

Also doctors: is limping, coughing, shaking, and still says, “I’m fine.”

No one lies more than doctors saying “I’m fine.” We could be in stage 4 renal failure and still show up for a shift because we don’t want to “let the team down.” It’s noble — but also absolutely bonkers.

12. The Delayed Specialist Referral

Doctors: “Don’t delay care. See a specialist early.”

Also doctors: waits 2 years to see a dermatologist, self-diagnoses with 3 skin cancers, and treats it with hydrocortisone.

The irony of preaching timely referrals while refusing to see a colleague because “they’ll just tell me what I already know” never gets old. It's like arguing with your mirror but charging yourself a consultation fee.

13. The Doctor Who Thinks They’re Immune

Doctors: “You’re not invincible. Take care of your health.”

Also doctors: gets exposed to RSV, COVID, flu, TB, and Norovirus in one week and still doesn't wear a mask because “I’ll be fine.”

Somewhere in our training, we developed this mythical belief that stethoscopes give us immunity. If that were true, our ID colleagues would be superheroes, not just perpetually sniffling caffeine addicts.

14. The Doctor Who Writes Sick Notes for Others but Works Through Appendicitis

Doctors: “If you’re sick, stay home and rest.”

Also doctors: takes a meeting call while in the ER, awaiting an appendectomy.

We can advocate for rest and recovery when it’s our patients — but the moment it’s us, rest is “luxury,” and sick leave is “for weaklings.” We’ll literally need a surgeon to force us to lie down.

15. The Specialist Who Ignores Their Own Specialty

Orthopedic surgeon with a herniated disc who won’t get an MRI.

Cardiologist with uncontrolled hypertension because they “know how to manage it.”

Psychiatrist with burnout convincing themselves it’s “just a phase.”

If irony were billable, we’d all be millionaires. Doctors are often worst at treating the very conditions they specialize in. Something about being too close to the problem makes us blind to it.

Final Thoughts That You Shouldn’t Ignore (But Probably Will)

Every doctor has been guilty of at least a few of the above. It’s not hypocrisy — it’s humanity. We’re trained to prioritize others, to stay composed, and to act fast. But we often forget that the healthiest thing we can do for our patients… is to also take care of ourselves.

So here’s a friendly reminder, doctor to doctor: Book that appointment. Get that scan. Eat something green. And maybe — just maybe — rest when you’re sick. Otherwise, we’ll all keep proving the point:

Doctors make the worst patients. But at least we’re hilarious about it.