This question was originally posted on Quora.com and was answered by Lonna Gordon. I didn’t realize I was going into labor, because the midwife said that after getting my membranes swept, I might experience cramping. So I figured it was just cramps. Really bad cramps. That came every seven minutes and lasted two minutes and had a definite beginning, intensification, and end. After a while it became clear to me that this wasn’t just cramps. Contractions were (1) significantly more painful than anything I have ever experienced before and (2) had distinct phases. This is helpful, because you know if you can just survive to the peak, it’s easier after that. That’s really what most of the breathing techniques are for. Just getting you distracted from the pain by focusing on your breathing, surviving to the peak, and waiting for the end. Nothing is going to make birth less painful; it only makes it endurable. I’m going to disagree with the others who talk about runners high and no-pain-no-gain. My non-medicated birth was like having my humanity stripped away. All higher brainpower dissolves and you’re just in the most basic, animal survival mode, waiting for time to pass. It’s interminable, and you have no idea when it will ever end. (Some births are done in 6 hours, some in 36.) It’s like having your brain engulfed in a wall of flames every minute for several minutes straight. By the time you catch your breath, it’s starting again. There is no world outside. You stare at a tile on the shower wall or a button on your husband’s shirt and that is your entire universe. For hours and endless hours. My first (non-medicated) birth was 17 hours of hell and exhaustion. I didn’t care that the baby was out — didn’t want to see him — just wanted to go to sleep. It jump-started a year of post-partum depression and indifference to my child. For about nine months after, I got shaky whenever people discussed birth. My second birth was pitocin + epidural. It was great. My husband and I played board games, and then I took a nap that was twilighty, probably due to the pitocin (it’s oxytocin, the same stuff that makes you sleepy and happy after sex). When the baby crowned, I was eager to see. When he popped out, I wanted to hold him. I was awake and happy and had that “glow” that new mothers are supposed to have. Pain is never mandatory. A painful birth is not necessary in any way. And “natural” isn’t always better. Source
