Drug Dealers Give Up Pagers - Doctors left as only group still using them

Disclaimer: This post is from GomerBlog, a satirical site about healthcare.

A cross-sectional study has confirmed what many physicians have suspected to be true over the past few years: pager use has dropped dramatically nationally, while use of non-1980s-era technology has risen. This effect was even seen among one of the last non-physician holdouts -- drug dealers.

Subgroup analyses revealed downward trends extending to all types of dealers, from those who peddle marijuana to those selling ecstasy and crack/cocaine. GomerBlogreached out to one marijuana dealer who wished to remain anonymous but had this to say:

"Pagers? Really? Are you serious?? First, people in Third-World countries can get cell phones now. Second, have you even seen the first season of "The Wire"?? That's why we don't use them!!"

GomerBlog also reached out to the American Medical Association (AMA) to try to understand why in this era of advancing technology, physicians still rely on pagers. In a prepared statement, the president of the AMA said:

"Could we update the technology? Sure. Is there a more efficient way of communicating? Probably. But this is the way we've done it for 40 years and there's no reason to change. Generations of doctors have suffered with pagers, and we think the residents of today and tomorrow should suffer just as much as we did. If it means keeping the dying industry of pagers alive, then so be it!"



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