Falling in Love in Med School

Med is love, med is life.

"It's an incredible paradox that being a doctor is so degrading and yet so valued by society" Samuel Shem, House of God





Falling in love in med school. You parents probably dream of the moment when you bring home another doctor or medical student. Or not. Nevertheless, mine and I’m sure many others do. It’s like, hello to a secure financial future.

While you’re in med school though, it’s known as MedCest. Hang around in the same class of students 24/7 for long enough and it’s like high school again. Everyone’s young, many are single. Eventually you find the guy/girl next you attractive. The rest is history, a la Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley.

Until the break-up or day after the hook up that is How. Awkward.

Sometimes it work out. It’s a relationship for potentially up to 4 years. Most med hook-ups and relationship spark up during first year. Unfortunately, the flip side is that it’s not a stable job in terms of locality. You’re always going to be moving until you’re an attending/consultant.

It’s always hard explaining to people outside of the profession that med school does not = full fledged doctor. There’s many years of paid post-graduate training in between during residency, where your life may not be your own for a while. Your No.1 husband or wife is your career.

The rest holds a corner of your heart. It’s hard when you’re both doctors.
I’ve known friends who met and married in med school, but were forced to spend the first few years of marriage apart after graduation because their jobs took them to different parts of the country. It’s hard to sacrifice so many years of studying and money for a relationship. And for every year you may take off for family or other things in your personal life, is year considered ‘de-skilled’. It’s harder to return to the workforce there after.

But it does make you think harder about a particular specialty you choose to consider. Surgery is almost out of the question if you want to be an active parent, someone will have to make sacrifices. Women tend to have house husbands. Men have house wives. Where both are surgeons, they choose not to have kids or have full time nannies. But who wants their kids to be brought up by strangers? Then again, how do you tell someone you love who’s also in the profession, to consider making sacrifices in their professional dreams and careers for your combined future?

Source