From Eye Contact to Exit Strategy: Building Trust in 10 Minutes

What Doctors Do That Make Patients Lose Trust—And What Medicine Forgot to Teach Us

1. The “No Eye Contact” Syndrome
Nothing says I don’t really care like a doctor glued to a screen. You may be thinking: “I’m entering the EMR, this is important!” But to a patient, it feels like they’re talking to your back or the top of your head. Eye contact is not optional; it’s one of the strongest non-verbal trust builders.
Fix: Practice the “first-minute focus”—greet the patient, sit down (sitting makes time feel longer), make eye contact, and listen without typing for at least 60 seconds.

2. Jumping to Conclusions (Before They’ve Finished Their First Sentence)
Patients often lose trust when they feel unheard. A doctor interrupting mid-story to predict the diagnosis might feel like a genius moment—but to the patient, it’s disrespectful.
Fix: Let them talk. Research shows patients typically talk for less than 2 minutes if uninterrupted. If you can’t wait that long, medicine might have made you impatient—not efficient.

3. The Poker Face That Screams Judgment
You might not even realize you’re doing it—a raised eyebrow, a subtle sigh, a look of disbelief. Patients pick up on these cues instantly. Especially when discussing mental health, sexual health, or lifestyle choices.
Fix: Practice neutral empathy. Say things like, “Thanks for being open about that,” even if you’re silently shocked someone thought energy drinks cure migraines.

4. The Rush Job
Your schedule is tight. The waiting room is full. But saying “We only have five minutes” as you walk in makes the patient feel like a time slot, not a person.
Fix: Even if you do only have five minutes, don’t advertise it. Instead, say “Let’s focus on your most important concern today.” Patients often care more about feeling prioritized than the actual number of minutes you spend.

5. Medical Jargon Overload
Saying “your MRI shows a T2 hyperintensity likely representing a demyelinating process” sounds smart—to you. To the average patient, it sounds like Hogwarts Latin.
Fix: Use language that is simple, kind, and accurate. Then confirm understanding. “This means we’re seeing something in the scan that might explain your symptoms—we’ll need more info to be sure. Does that make sense so far?”

6. Being Too Clinical, Too Soon
Walking in, introducing yourself, and immediately asking, “What brings you here?” is efficient—but also robotic. The patient’s first impression of you begins before the first question.
Fix: Humanize it. A simple “How are you feeling today?” or “It’s good to meet you” can warm up the interaction significantly. Remember: first impressions are formed in under 7 seconds.

7. Not Addressing the Elephant in the Room
That worried face? That hesitation before answering? That “I read something online” comment? Patients often give subtle cues they’re scared or mistrustful—but doctors breeze past them to “stay on task.”
Fix: Name it. “You look a bit concerned—was there something you were worried about?” It takes 10 seconds to ask and can shift the whole dynamic.

8. Being Defensive Instead of Curious
Some patients arrive with skepticism. They question your diagnosis, your advice, or why you're not prescribing antibiotics for a viral infection. Many doctors instinctively defend their stance.
Fix: Try curiosity instead. “That’s a great question—tell me more about what you were thinking.” You defuse confrontation by making the patient feel heard rather than corrected.

9. Ignoring the “Little” Symptoms
When patients say “I know this probably isn’t important, but…” and you immediately move on, they notice. And sometimes, those “unimportant” things are key to the diagnosis—or to the trust.
Fix: Acknowledge it, even briefly. “That’s helpful to mention. I’ll keep it in mind.” Even if you think it’s completely unrelated, acknowledging it tells the patient their voice matters.

10. Overpromising or Being Vague
Saying “everything will be fine” or “we’ll fix this” feels reassuring—but sets up disappointment. On the flip side, being too vague (“Let’s see how things go”) can feel like you don’t have a plan.
Fix: Be honest, but hopeful. “I can’t promise results, but I’ll walk you through every step and make sure you’re supported throughout.” Patients respect honesty when it’s delivered with care.

11. Dismissing Google—Too Aggressively
Patients Google. That’s not changing. When doctors roll their eyes or say, “Don’t trust the internet,” patients can feel disrespected.
Fix: Meet them where they are. “That’s a common article that comes up—I’m glad you brought it. Let’s look at it together and see how it fits your case.” Collaboration beats condescension.

12. Over-Reliance on Protocol, Not People
Guidelines are essential. But if you sound like a walking flowchart instead of a thinking human, patients pick up on it.
Fix: Personalize it. “Based on guidelines, here’s the general recommendation—but we’ll also consider your personal circumstances before deciding together.” Patients trust doctors who think with them, not at them.

13. No Follow-Up or Next Step Clarity
Many patients leave not knowing what happens next. They might assume they were forgotten—or dismissed.
Fix: Even if it’s just “I’ll review your labs and call you Thursday,” make the next step clear. A simple plan = major trust boost.

14. Avoiding Emotional Topics
If a patient starts crying, mentions trauma, or brings up death, many doctors feel awkward—and rush the conversation elsewhere. But these are exactly the moments that define you in their eyes.
Fix: Don’t panic. Just say: “I’m here for you. Take your time.” No need for philosophical wisdom—just your calm presence.

15. Too Much Authority, Too Little Humility
Some doctors wear their white coat like a badge of omniscience. But saying “I don’t know right now, but I’ll find out” can build more trust than pretending to know everything.
Fix: Embrace the power of “Let’s figure it out together.” Patients trust humans more than machines.

16. Ignoring Cultural or Personal Context
Assuming everyone thinks the same way about health, pain, death, or treatment is a fast track to mistrust.
Fix: Ask: “Is there anything in your beliefs or preferences that would affect how you want to approach this?” It shows respect—and gives the patient permission to be themselves.

17. The Awkward Exit
Ending the visit with a rushed “Okay, bye” while halfway out the door can feel like emotional whiplash.
Fix: Try this instead: recap (“So to summarize…”) and ask, “Do you feel we covered what you hoped to today?” Then a simple: “Thanks for coming in—I appreciate your time.” That’s the exit patients remember.

18. Overuse of Checklists and Forms
Patients often feel like they’re being “processed” rather than heard, especially when the encounter revolves around ticking boxes.
Fix: Use the checklist, but don't act like a checklist. Use it silently, and let your tone and attention show that you’re present in the moment.

19. The Forgotten Names
Referring to your patient as “the diabetic in room 2” isn’t just bad manners—it leaks into how you speak to them, too.
Fix: Learn and use their name. Say it once in the beginning, once mid-way, and once when wrapping up. It personalizes the care, even in a busy setting.

20. Bringing Your Bad Day In With You
We all have tough days. But the sighs, the short answers, the visible stress—all of this tells the patient “You’re not my priority right now.”
Fix: Have a 10-second reset ritual between patients: deep breath, straight spine, smile. Fake it if you must. It changes the energy for both of you.