Don’t worry, the first thing to remember is that med students are just like everyone else. At least, they would be if “everyone else” were also highly intelligent, ambitious, competitive, caring, and constantly stressed. But, the reality is, you probably like this person BECAUSE of some of the qualities they possess that made them choose to pursue a career in medicine, so, don’t freak out about the less positive aspects of having a significant other who is married to their profession. Of course, we could all use a little advice sometimes to get through a tough spot or two in any relationship, regardless of if you’re dating a guy who has all the time in the world or a lady who is on her surgery rotation and so busy you can barely remember what she looks like. Here are a compilation of tips I’ve gathered from girlfriends/boyfriends of medical students and am now passing onto you in hopes that it will help you navigate your relationship with your own med school love. CBS Interactive 1. Try not to take some things personally. Medical students are notoriously stressed and tend to prioritize everything in their life as being somewhere underneath the all encompassing category of “med school responsibilities.” This means that they might forget they promised they’d be home in time for the delicious dinner you prepared especially for them or that even though they swore up and down they’d have time for an episode of Game of Thrones they really have an assignment due and can’t you just wait an extra day or two? Your understanding can really mean a lot in these situations so try to put yourself in their shoes and appreciate how much they want to hang out with you and how bad they probably feel about breaking plans. This can get out of hand though which leads us to.. 2. Communication is key. If you aren’t talking to each other about issues then your relationship isn’t going to go anywhere. This applies for everyone really. Just because you’re dating a med student doesn’t give them carte blanche to be a shitty significant other. If you really feel like they’re blowing you off or they’re not giving you the time/attention/love you need and deserve, there is nothing wrong with telling them so. I’ve noticed a lot of girls dating a boy in med school who basically make the whole relationship about the dude. They say things like “he’s just so busy right now, he doesn’t have time to talk about my problems so I’m just trying to be there for him. Also I cook meals and fold all his clothes because he’s just so overwhelmed” and I’m sitting here like oh my god you sound like his substitute mother. That’s just not right. I’m not saying you shouldn’t help out with things like maybe packing a lunch or two or throwing a load of his laundry on for him but the crux of the matter is that if he can’t learn to do these things himself then how is he going to handle life as a full-time resident? Answer: he’ll just rely on you to do everything for him. A relationship is about two people supporting each other, not one supporting the other exclusively. 3. Finally, have fun! Because medical students tend to have less time than a lot of other people it’s really important to take advantage of whatever free time you may find yourself gifted with. If your third year girlfriend has a random weekend off with no call and no assignments due then maybe plan a fun trip somewhere or at least an adventurous outing. Or a romantic dinner, or an interesting bike ride. Whatever floats your boat! The important thing is to cherish these precious times because they won’t come often, but when they do, they’re more valuable than gold. And even when you may not have a whole weekend, don’t underestimate the importance of having dinner together, watching a quick show or taking a moment to connect. Ask about each other’s day or go for a quick walk to grab some coffee. Hold hands, kiss often, and remember that strong relationships require lots of work, but they are so worth it. SOURCE
