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Hilarious Hospital & Healthcare Confessions

Discussion in 'Hospital' started by Egyptian Doctor, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. Egyptian Doctor

    Egyptian Doctor Moderator Verified Doctor

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    Working in healthcare can be slow at times, but there are always a few characters who keep us on our toes.

    In a recent Reddit post, “doctors” on the site were asked, “what’s something you’ve had to tell a patient that you thought for sure was common knowledge?”

    Here are a few of the unbelievable responses on the site. Whether there’s any truth behind them, who knows. But it’s hard to make this stuff up.

    1. Just because it says “contains vegetable extracts” on the side of it, a can of Coke does not count as one of your five a day.

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    2. Have had to inform a few male patients that the condom only goes on the shaft and should not be pulled down to include covering of the testicles.

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    3. Work in a pharmacy, had a young woman pick up her nuvaring (a ring inserted vaginally for birth control) She came back in a month to pick up a new one, and was wearing the nuvaring around her wrist as a bracelet.

    4. I’m a veterinary technichian. I once had to explain to a frantic client that the ticks she had frantically been trying to remove from her male dogs belly with tweezers were actually his nipples. I also told her she had an extremely well behaved, patient dog.

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    5. Had a lady measure her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.

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    6. I work in dermatology and I once had a precious, little old man come into the office complaining of a new spot on his chest. Now, the spot was not itchy, painful, or bleeding but he really wanted it checked out. This is fairly common and most of the time we look out for things like pre-cancers and age-related spots in this age group.

    I had him lift up his shirt and show me the spot. I had a difficult time visualizing anything, so I asked him what spot he was referring to. He got a little testy with me and said ‘what are you blind? You don’t see that spot right there?’ I responded ‘show me by taking my hand and placing it on the spot’.

    What happened next still boggles my mind. But I’ll never forget it. What I feel under my index finger is a squishy, little lump.

    ‘Sir. That is your nipple’. ‘My what?!’ ‘Nipples, sir. Everybody has these.’ Finally he conceded with: ‘Huh. If you say so.’

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    7. For almost a month, my friend had random pains, bruises started showing up randomly. He looked ashen and what we first thought was him being lazy was actually him not having any energy.

    Finally his girlfriend got him to agree to go to the doctor… who sent him to the ER, where it took several doctors to figure out what was wrong, either because none of them had actually seen it in real life before, or they didn’t think someone could be that stupid.

    Quote the doctor: “You have scurvy. Eat a f*cking orange.”

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    8. My favourite was when someone was prescribed estrogen patches and told to stick one patch on herself every other day.

    At the next follow-up she said she didn’t like the patches because she’d been “running out of space”

    I didn’t think to clarify to her that she should have been placing a new patch and removing the one from yesterday each day.

    9. Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented it. The problem this time? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.

    10. I work in a hospital lab, quite a few years ago there was patient was on our schedule for a semen analysis from one of our fertility docs (the between the lines here is the patient was having some fertility problems). Patient presents with a cup of urine. We explain that we need a semen sample, not a urine one; confused why his first sample was rejected, he goes back to the private bathroom at the end of the hall. About half an hour later, he comes back with another urine sample, and that’s when I literally had to have both a birds and bees talk with a man in his mid-thirties, and clue him in on the world of masturbation.


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  2. david2014

    david2014 Well-Known Member

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    in this modern word hospital is one the best place to make some good money.so there no service mind person in this field.
     

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