How To Defeat Procrastination With The Psychology Of Emotional Intelligence

This week, this New York Times article sparked a conversation about procrastination by claiming that “at its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity.” As someone who’s studied the psychology of emotions and emotional intelligence, this rung true to me, and I think it’s why I personally don’t particularly struggle with procrastination. I’ve used the psychology of emotion regulation and emotional intelligence to defeat procrastination—here’s how:



Step 1 — Stay Aware / RULE Your Emotions

If procrastination is spurred on by a knee-jerk reaction to a negative emotion, the first intervention has to be noticing and properly expressing those negative emotions. This is one of the reasons that mindfulness has been recognized as so important for success. At the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, we used the RULER method, which involves recognizing that you’re experiencing a feeling, understanding why, labeling it accurately, and expressing it appropriately. An example of this in the context of procrastination would look something like this:

Recognize: “I’m trying to work on this assignment, but my stomach hurts.”

Understand: “I’ve eaten recently and I’m not ill—I’m probably feeling unwell because this is a high-stakes assignment.”

Label: “I guess that means I’m feeling anxious.”

Express: “I’m going to stand up and ‘shake it out.’”



Step 2 — Plan Ahead / REGULATE Your Emotions

The final step of the RULER method is the final ‘R’ — regulation. The New York Times article called procrastination “an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem.” Emotion regulation is about strategy, about figuring out what triggers your emotions and how can you avoid or amplify or change those triggers. Once you’ve mastered Step 1 and are aware of the negative emotions that can trigger procrastination, emotional regulation can help you rewire your brain to stop those negative feelings in their tracks, and find more effective sources of positive emotions than procrastinating for temporary relief. I’ve broken down how I got there into these four ideas:

Get Addicted To Getting Things DONE

This is the most crucial part of my process. We procrastinate because, in that moment, it feels better than confronting what needs to be done (and the negative emotions associated with it). Most of us know that we’ll feel better once we’re done with the thing, but it’s doing it or getting started that is unpleasant. But what if you trained your brain to enjoy confronting that task more than procrastinating on it? I got obsessed with crossing things off the list—in college, I used to write things down on my to-do list even after I’d completed them, just to be able to cross them off. By now, I’ve gotten to a point where I enjoy getting something over with more than I would enjoy avoiding it. I got there in part by following this next mantra:

Touch It Once

Newton’s first law of motion states that objects in motion tend to stay in motion (and objects at rest tend to stay at rest). When you look at an incoming text or email or other message, you’re in motion. You’ve already committed brain space to thinking about the message and considering how to handle it. If you pause at this stage and pick the message back up again later, you lose that inertia.

As soon as I get a text message or email (or idea), I handle it. Of course, this wouldn’t work if I checked my phone at times when I didn’t have time to respond, so this method means being more careful about when I check my emails or phone. The way I handle these ideas and messages breaks down into a few categories: Do It, Say No, Delegate, Schedule It, and Ask for Input.

A big part of what makes this system work for me is that I don’t have a problem saying no, or delegating, or doing things imperfectly. If these aren’t easy for you, you’ll quickly get overwhelmed by handling things using the ‘touch it once’ method. as soon as they come to your attention. Here are the two mindsets you’ll need to break out of before this will work for you:



Defeat Workaholicism

An obsession with getting things done is absolutely different from an obsession with work. In fact, many times, these two impulses are working in direct opposition to one another. In Rework, the founders of Basecamp talk about how workaholics “don’t look for ways to be more efficient because they actually like working overtime.” The part of you that loves to work doesn’t want to think creatively or find workarounds or handle things as they come in. One way I avoid this is by setting a time limit for myself (or whoever I’m delegating to) — “this should only take five minutes/half an hour/two hours.” If it takes significantly longer, it’s time to change the approach or reevaluate the task/project. The sunk-cost fallacy can be especially dangerous when it comes to time.

Defeat Perfectionism (Done Is Better Than Perfect)

As someone who helps high-achieving high school students apply to college, I help people struggling with perfectionism all the time. The most concrete example is when students try to write their college essay. In a lot of ways, the college essay seems designed to spark procrastination. It’s completely self-directed, students have months to finish it, and it can be about anything, meaning many students wait to write it, hoping that inspiration will strike. However, the students that end up with the best results don’t overthink it. They sit down and write something, ask for feedback, revise it, and call it done. The entire process takes a few days, not months. They then move on to writing supplemental essays for colleges, and sometimes, in writing those essays, or even just in going through their senior fall with their essay ‘out of the way,’ they stumble on another idea and write another main college essay that’s better than their first attempt—and better than if they’d let that first attempt drag on for months. Having something done is a crucial part of this process because it defeats the instinct to procrastinate. An essay you write thinking, “Eh, I already have my college essay sorted, but let me try this and see if I like it better” is going to sound far more natural and take more risks than an essay you write thinking, “Oh man, I really need to stop putting this off.”

Perfectionism is procrastination’s Instagram persona. It may look like perfection, but it’s actually underperformance. The more perfection you strive for, the less you’ll accomplish. The “done is better than perfect” mindset is the key to success. It’s why I’m comfortable with delegation and doing things as soon as they come across my desk instead of waiting until I have enough bandwidth to achieve perfection. If you wait until you’re perfect before you start, not only will you miss out on opportunities, but you’ll end up with a worse result than if you had just thrown yourself into it and gotten some practice and experience.

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