Linda met Paul in 1977, when she was a stewardess and he was doing his rotation to become an obstetrician. She was 22, he was 26. They were set up on a blind date, and Linda says it was love at first sight. They are now happily married for 36 years and have five children together. Linda spoke with Cosmopolitan.com about what it's really like to be married to a gynecologist. When you first started dating, were you ever worried that Paul might be judging you based on other women he had seen at work? No! And I get asked that a lot. Men are more curious about that I think than women. People will be like, "Does that bother you?" and I think if you're not a physician or in that kind of work, maybe people think it is something different. I think when I go to the gyno, it has never once, in my life, felt sexual in any way. Probably the exact opposite of anything sexual. So I think knowing that, I knew that is how it would be if you were on the flip side. It is a medical procedure just like they look at your arm or any other part of your body. So it doesn't bother you? It so doesn't bother me. When I have family members or friends, I refer them to my husband. Because I know they are going to be in such good hands, and I feel like anybody who is his patient is really, really lucky. Obviously if I thought it would be weird or awkward, I wouldn't refer my best friends to him. Do your best friends really go to him? Oh, yes! I mean a lot of my own friends have their own doctors they have had for years. But I know anyone new or looking for a change, I refer them in a heartbeat to him. If there is something you would need to go to the doctor, do you ever have your husband look at it first? Of course. My very first questions to him are, you know, whenever I think I'm getting a bladder infection. Then I go into the office, since I go to his partner. Why do you go to your husband's partner and not your husband? I think having that division for him, because there is still that connection and I think he likes to know that, anything with your family, you are still going to have that element of worry and so is there any concern about looking at you subjectively. It is not like that [we] don't talk or discuss, but it is more about the professional code of ethics. Did your husband deliver your children? He ended up delivering our first baby. And actually fast-forward 30 years later, he ended up doing a crash C-section on that same child to deliver our oldest grandchild. What were the pros and cons of delivering with your husband? The pros were that it was so personal and intimate, I still tear up talking about it. It was special. I remember him handing her to me and saying she's perfect; it's such a vivid memory. Just the three of us and this wide-eyed beautiful baby. At that moment, the world was perfect. Medically, looking back, the big con would be had anything gone wrong there was no back-up. We were not prepared at all for a home birth, even to cut the cord he had to improvise. So we were really grateful it was a medically non-eventful birth. What do you think it did for your relationship? I think I loved him more that day than I ever had before and I realized what he does everyday isn't just a job. It's people's lives he has in his hands and that makes him and what he does even more special to me. He is so good at what he does, and he loves taking care of women and their babies. He really is amazing! So what is your sex life like? How often do you guys have sex? You know, a lot of it depends on Paul's schedules. If he is home when I am home. The average I would say was three to five times a week. That is probably a safe number, and if he is not on-call and we are both home, then it's more. When we were dating and young, it was far more than that. How do you work around your work schedules to keep your sex life alive? It's hectic, but since he is an obstetrician, he gets calls in the morning and the night. So, you know, sometimes that middle-of-the-night call happens and it's good for our sex life. Then we are both awake and like, "Oh, this could be fun!" I think other things like when he calls on his way home from the office, I let him know I am excited to see him. I'll send a sexy text or an email to his phone too. What's an example of what you send? [Laughs.] Just like, "I was thinking of you. I can't wait for you to get home tonight." And then he knows what that means. Just little things to let him know I still desire him. Do you ever, uh, bring gynecology into the bedroom? I don't really know if this has anything to do with him being a gynecologist, but there is no question, he knows all the wonderful things to do sexually, and he probably knows women's body parts and stimulation things that many women don't even know about their own body. How do you think your sex life has changed throughout your marriage? Well, when we had all the kids at home, we would do date night, which was dinner and booking a hotel room. We might only be there a couple hours but then we didn't have to worry about one of the kids running up to the door. But now with all the kids gone, we don't have to book a hotel! After 40 years together, you know what each other likes. And there are not guessing games about that. And I think we both still want the other one to come first, so that keeps it great. After 36 years of marriage, what do you think is the key to a healthy sex life? I take care of myself to stay desirable and sexy for him, and he does the same for me. I think it shows mutual respect for partners. You also cannot let things come between you and your spouse's sex life. Set two hours aside for fun. What is the best part about being married to an ob-gyn? I don't know if he is so wonderful and warm and compassionate about women because he sees and hears things about women all day long, so that makes him a better husband. Or he's a better doctor because that is just who he is as a person. But I think it gives him real insight on what women are really thinking. They share things with their gynecologist, and it makes him a really incredible husband. Another thing is, with my kids, there is nothing that I am uncomfortable discussing with them, sex-wise or otherwise. He is very open to listening and hearing. Is there something you wished you would have known before marrying a gynecologist? Something that surprised you? Surprising probably would only be in a good way. And again I don't know if it is because he knows the female body so well, but the sex is amazing. So that is good surprise. But also, you have to learn how to adjust. Because there are going to be holidays and birthdays and anniversaries, and he is not going to be there. And that needs to be OK or you do not need to marry a doctor in general. Because patients need him. Source
