The Apprentice Doctor

If You’re a Doctor, You’ve Definitely Said These Lines

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  1. Ahd303

    Ahd303 Bronze Member

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    How Many of These “Doctor Phrases” Do You Say Daily?

    Medicine is a language of its own — half Latin, half sarcasm, and entirely incomprehensible to normal humans. You may not realize it, but every doctor speaks a dialect made up of certain stock phrases. They’re universal. Whether you work in London, Cairo, or Sydney, you’ve said at least half of these lines this week — probably before lunch.

    So, here’s your reality check: how many of these “doctor phrases” do you use daily? (Warning: if you recognize too many, your soul might already belong to the healthcare system.)
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    1. “It’ll just be a small scratch.”
    Translation: It’s going to hurt, but I’m not emotionally ready to deal with your scream right now.
    Every doctor’s go-to lie. Whether you’re taking bloods, inserting a cannula, or performing minor surgery, you’ve used this sentence while fully aware that the patient’s face will twitch in betrayal two seconds later.

    Bonus point if you follow up with, “All done!” — before realizing you still need another sample.

    2. “You’ll just feel a little pressure.”
    Doctors use this to disguise impending discomfort, awkward silence, or a procedure that feels nothing like “pressure.” It’s also our subtle way of saying, brace yourself, but please don’t make eye contact.

    If you say this phrase at least five times a day, congratulations — you’ve mastered the art of clinical understatement.

    3. “You’re doing great.”
    The phrase every doctor uses when neither they nor the patient knows what’s happening.
    We say it during painful exams, while inserting IVs, or during chaos in the emergency bay. It’s not a statement of fact — it’s a psychological sedative.

    We also say it to interns, students, and each other during night shifts — usually when things are, in fact, not going great.

    4. “This might sting a little.”
    It won’t “sting a little.” It’ll sting a lot.
    But medicine is diplomacy, not honesty. We’d rather you call us a liar later than flinch now.

    Doctors say this phrase to maintain the illusion that we have control over how pain feels. It’s the medical version of saying, “Don’t worry, it’s not that bad,” before everything goes downhill.

    5. “Let’s just get some bloods.”
    No matter what the complaint is — chest pain, fatigue, knee ache, or an existential crisis — the answer is always: “Let’s get some bloods.”
    It’s our diagnostic reflex. The phrase buys time, gives us direction, and makes us look like we know what we’re doing.

    It’s also code for: I have no idea what’s going on, but maybe the lab will tell me.

    6. “We’ll keep an eye on it.”
    The most ambiguous sentence in medical existence.
    It means everything from “We’re watching closely” to “We have no plan.”

    When you say this, you’re essentially putting faith in the passage of time to clarify a problem.
    You say it to patients, nurses, and yourself — as if “keeping an eye on it” will prevent chaos.

    7. “That’s interesting.”
    Doctor translation: I have no idea what’s going on, but I refuse to admit it.

    We use “interesting” to maintain authority while internally screaming. It’s a word that can mean “fascinating,” “bizarre,” or “I’m definitely Googling this later.”

    8. “Let’s just rule out the bad stuff first.”
    Classic doctor reassurance.
    It sounds like you’re being cautious, but you’re really buying yourself diagnostic breathing room.

    You use this when the patient looks well but your subconscious whispers, What if it’s something catastrophic?
    It’s both comforting and ominous — the professional equivalent of saying, “Don’t panic, but maybe panic a little.”

    9. “Your results are… reassuring.”
    The ultimate safety phrase.
    It doesn’t mean normal, it doesn’t mean conclusive — it just means I’m not alarmed enough to call radiology again.

    We say this when the findings aren’t perfect, but not terrifying either. It’s the linguistic equivalent of shrugging in a lab coat.

    10. “We’ll review in the morning.”
    Translation: We’re all too tired right now to deal with this.

    This phrase is the battle cry of every on-call doctor. It means, “Let future-me handle this train wreck.”
    It’s also how 90% of problems get passed along during night shifts.

    11. “Just pop up to radiology.”
    Doctors love this one. It makes it sound like radiology is a pleasant five-minute stroll, not a bureaucratic labyrinth guarded by scanners, forms, and radiographers who haven’t smiled since 2009.

    You say it knowing full well the patient will spend an hour waiting and return saying, “They said they didn’t get the request.”

    12. “Can you just do one more thing?”
    Usually said by a consultant at 4:59 p.m.
    Or by you, to a nurse, at the exact moment they were about to have lunch.

    This phrase should come with an ethical warning. It’s how innocent shifts turn into extended nightmares.

    13. “I’ll be there in two minutes.”
    You won’t. You’re lying. Everyone knows you’re lying.
    But somehow, this is the polite way of saying, “I’ll get there when I can.”

    You might be across the hospital, finishing paperwork, or currently involved in a procedure, but the phrase gives comfort to whoever’s waiting — and buys you plausible deniability.

    14. “Just one more patient.”
    Said by doctors worldwide — never once true.
    This is the lie we tell our partners, nurses, and ourselves. There’s always one more patient. Always.

    You start a shift saying it ironically, end it saying it desperately, and realize at 2 a.m. that you’ve been saying it since medical school.

    15. “Let’s make sure we’re not missing anything.”
    You know you’re saying this to sound responsible, but deep down it’s your polite way of admitting mild paranoia.

    Every doctor has whispered this phrase after a “simple case” starts to feel suspiciously complex.
    It’s a comforting illusion — as if we ever stop missing things.

    16. “Can you describe the pain?”
    A sentence that always leads to chaos.
    No two patients describe pain the same way. “It’s sharp but dull,” “It moves but doesn’t move,” “It’s like fire but cold.”

    Yet you still ask it every day, out of habit, hoping for clarity you’ll never receive.

    17. “This is probably nothing serious, but…”
    The sentence that precedes every over-investigation known to man.

    You say it to soften the blow, but you know what comes next: ten tests, four follow-ups, and one sleepless night.
    It’s both reassurance and a cry for help.

    18. “Let’s get a second opinion.”
    Translation: I’m about to drag radiology, cardiology, and anyone else who’ll listen into this mess.

    You say it to appear collaborative, but really, you’re trying not to take the blame alone.
    It’s the medical equivalent of “Can someone else look at this before I commit to being wrong?”

    19. “Vitals are stable… for now.”
    Every doctor knows the for now is implied. Stability is never permanent — it’s just the calm before the crash.

    You say it in ward rounds, hoping the patient doesn’t decompensate immediately afterward.
    If you’ve ever said it and then immediately heard “Code Blue,” you’ve met karma firsthand.

    20. “Let’s do the basics first.”
    The universal restart button.
    You say this when chaos erupts — oxygen, fluids, antibiotics, repeat. It’s the sacred sequence that has saved more lives (and reputations) than any research paper ever published.

    21. “Just breathe normally.”
    Usually said right before someone forgets how to breathe entirely.
    The phrase seems innocent, but it triggers the same reaction as telling someone “act natural.”

    Every doctor has said it, every patient has failed it, and we all pretend it’s fine.

    22. “It’s probably viral.”
    The greatest catch-all diagnosis in medicine.
    It covers everything from sniffles to mysterious fevers. It’s what you say when you’ve ruled out the catastrophic stuff but still have no idea what’s going on.

    It’s also the unspoken message: I can’t fix it, so let’s just let nature handle this one.

    23. “Let’s keep them overnight.”
    Also known as “Let’s make this tomorrow’s problem.”
    You say it when discharging feels risky or you just need time to think.

    It’s both cautious and selfish — because now the morning team inherits your unresolved mystery.

    24. “The patient looks surprisingly well.”
    Translation: I don’t trust this at all.
    If a patient looks too good for their lab results, every doctor’s sixth sense starts tingling.

    We’ve all learned that “surprisingly well” usually means “about to surprise you in a bad way.”

    25. “Let’s document that.”
    This is doctor code for: Cover yourself.
    We document because we’ve all been burned. Notes aren’t just records — they’re armor.

    Every doctor’s second nature is documentation. If you didn’t write it, it didn’t happen. If you did write it, it’s gospel.

    26. “Let’s wait for the bloods.”
    The polite version of saying, “I have no idea what to do until the computer tells me.”
    This phrase gives you permission to stall while appearing responsible.

    It’s also the universal excuse for standing by the nurses’ station scrolling your phone, pretending to be “monitoring results.”

    27. “We’ll discuss it in MDT.”
    MDT (Multidisciplinary Team) — the sacred phrase that delays decisions indefinitely.
    It’s how doctors buy weeks of time to avoid committing to anything controversial.

    The patient hears, “A team of experts will review your case.”
    What we mean is, “We’ll argue about it next Thursday and forget to send an email.”

    28. “Let’s start simple and see how they respond.”
    Translation: I have a plan that’s intentionally vague so no one can call it wrong.
    It’s the medical equivalent of “We’ll figure it out later.”

    It’s also how every empiric antibiotic course begins — with optimism and ends with escalation.

    29. “They were fine earlier.”
    The cursed sentence. Never say it aloud. It’s a verbal jinx that guarantees the patient will deteriorate immediately afterward.

    If you’ve ever said this on handover and then heard a crash alarm, congratulations — you’ve summoned the night shift demon.

    30. “Can you just chase that up?”
    A phrase that turns colleagues into detectives.
    You’ve said it when trying to look efficient while delegating confusion. It’s short, casual, and deceptively harmless — until someone asks, “What exactly am I chasing?”

    31. “Let’s see what the consultant says.”
    When in doubt, invoke the hierarchy.
    This line buys you safety, time, and plausible deniability. If things go wrong, you didn’t decide — you waited for input.

    32. “You can go home once you’ve passed urine.”
    A classic discharge phrase. It’s simple, objective, and always leads to a two-hour delay.

    Every doctor has said it and then regretted it when the patient suddenly can’t pee.
    It’s nature’s way of punishing premature optimism.

    33. “Sorry for the wait.”
    We say it even when we’re not sorry. It’s the socially acceptable substitute for, “I’m drowning, but I still have to sound empathetic.”

    Every shift, every ward, every clinic — this phrase echoes like a hymn of collective guilt.

    34. “Any questions?”
    Said at the end of every consultation — instantly regretted when the patient actually asks one.

    You say it out of habit, expecting polite silence. But the one time you’re running late, the patient will reply with, “Yes, just a few…” and hand you a handwritten list.

    35. “Let’s just double-check that.”
    Every doctor’s safety net. It sounds responsible, calm, and deliberate.
    But deep down, it’s your way of saying, “Please, let me not be wrong.”

    You’ve said it after ECGs, chest X-rays, or before calling seniors. It’s both caution and self-preservation disguised as professionalism.

    36. “It’s been a long day.”
    The understatement of a lifetime.
    This phrase covers 12-hour shifts, three emergencies, and four existential crises.

    Every time you say it, you age one year. But somehow, it always feels like the only accurate summary of a doctor’s life.

    37. “Let’s hope for an uneventful night.”
    You’ve said it. You’ve jinxed it. You’ve paid the price.

    This is the most dangerous phrase in medicine. Every time someone says it, a crash call is born somewhere in the hospital.
    It’s a superstition carved into every doctor’s soul: Never tempt fate.

    38. “We’re doing our best.”
    It’s sincere, but it carries exhaustion. You say it when medicine meets its limits — when you’ve tried everything, and the only thing left is compassion.

    It’s the phrase that strips away all the jargon, all the bravado — and reminds you why you became a doctor in the first place.

    So, how many of these have you said today?
    If it’s more than ten, you’re fluent in Medical English. If it’s more than twenty, you might need a vacation.
    If it’s all of them — you’re not just a doctor. You’re a walking ward round.
     

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