There is a belief that if you are afraid of something, it will certainly happen. Because of this, in the New Year I decided to be afraid of becoming rich, happy, and slim. Patient: Doctor, my husband won’t talk to me! It doesn’t matter what I say to him. I can talk all day, but not a word. I am afraid he may have a serious psychiatric condition. Doctor: It is not a disease, Ma’am. It is a talent. Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else; this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time. She was taken into a room and told to make herself comfortable. While reading the doctor’s diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago. The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says : “Hello, how can I help you?” Woman asks: “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?” “The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.” _Voltaire After many sessions the psychiatrist says to his patient: -Congratulations, Sir, you are cured! The patient says: -Some cure. Before I was Alexander the Great. Now I`m nobody. Hospital Childbirth Unit – New Year Special Offer: “Deliver two babies and get the third one as a gift!” -Doctor, I keep talking to myself all the time. -Does it bother your family? -No, I live alone. -So what is the problem? You can keep talking as long as it does not bother anyone. -But doctor, I am so boring… News reporter asks the director of a mental hospital if they have a special test to check if a patient is mentally healthy, and ready to be released. -Yes, we fill a bathtub with water, and beside it we put a spoon and a big mug. Then we ask a patient to empty the bathtub. News reporter with a smile: And any healthy person will take a mug, right? Doctor: No, a healthy person will remove a drain stopper… -Doctor, my husband was very nervous recently. I think we need to go on vacation. Where do you think we should go: to the mountains, or to the sea? -You should go to the mountains, and he should go to the sea, or vice versa… Source
