Medical Student Reveals The ‘Doom’ Felt While Studying To Be A Doctor

Femy is 22-year-old medical student, and hopes he struggle will encourage others to get help.

FEMY always knew she wanted to become a doctor after she graduated from high school.

Completing her senior year at St Johns College in Dubbo, New South Wales, the then 17-year-old got accepted in to medicine at James Cook University.

Wanting to help others with a hands on job that had meaning, Ms Koratty admits she didn’t know how intense being a med-student would be until she finished her first year.

“You have this perfect picture of the profession when you start out,” the now 22-year-old told news.com.au.

“I had only heard of the good side of medicine. Helping people and saving their lives. All the bad stuff gets hidden under the rug.

“I knew the degree would be hard work, but I didn’t expect it to be a mental strain every single day.”



Femy watched a patient die in front of her when she was in her second year of study.

Ms Korapty, who will appear on Tuesday night’s mental health episode of Insight, explained how the medical field took a toll on her health and wellbeing before she’d even reached 20-years-old.

Along with some of her fellow students, Ms Koratty has faced situations in the medical field that have left a scar on the now 22-year-old.

Recalling a moment when she couldn’t save a woman’s life, Ms Koratty said the experience left her feeling emotionally traumatised.

“A patient was passing away, we were giving her CPR,” she explained.

“I was there watching her die. It was such a chaotic experience. I was the one giving the compressions, but we couldn’t save her.

“So when the call was made to stop CPR, you’re left watching this human die. It was such a traumatic experience, you can’t put it in to words.

“I was fortunate that my supervising doctor gave me a debrief which helped with what I was feeling. But I thought about it for the three whole weeks — about how her son was coping and whether the family was OK.”



'Competitiveness gets ingrained right at the beginning of Med school'

The demands of medicine take a heavy toll — even on those who are just starting out in the field.

Doctors have continual exposure to pain, disease, death and suffering and experience high work intensity, conflicting time demands, and heavy professional responsibility.

In an article published on The Conversation by two professionals in the field, a review of studies in the industry found male doctors had a 26 per cent higher risk of suicide, while female doctors had a 146 per cent higher risk than the general population.

A survey published by Beyond Blue in 2010 showed that there were higher rates of suicidal thoughts and psychological distress among doctors and medical students than in the general community.

“Family members have pointed to stress, ‘brutal expectations’ and working hours as having had an impact on the doctors’ decisions to end their lives,” the paper read.

“Doctors face long work hours in a pressured work environment. They experience anxiety about making mistakes that can have serious consequences.”



Femy wants to see more support given to medical students.

Ms Koratty, who is now based in Darwin for her fifth year of study — said she learnt pretty early in her degree that you’re not given much opportunity — or the tools — to take care of your own physical and psychological health.

“I started to notice the signs in my second year of study,” she said.

“I remember I was just 17 during my first hospital placement. There was an old lady, who I’d been told didn’t have long to live.

“As I walked past her, she grabbed on to my arm and asked ‘am I going to die?’

“I felt so out of my depth, I just walked away and left her in this impending doom. A lot of 17-year-olds wouldn’t have the maturity to deal with that.

“You see them get sicker and you watch people die. It didn’t take a big toll on me at first, but by second year I felt completely emotionally and mentally drained.”



Femy hopes that her experience will urge others to seek mental health assistance. She will appear on SBS Insight program tonight to discuss mental health in the medical field.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 45 per cent of Australians between the ages of 16 and 85 will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime.

Ms Koratty said the competitiveness of medical school forces students to put on a “perfect” front — when in fact, they are struggling to cope.

“Competitiveness gets ingrained right at the beginning of med school,” she said.

“We all put on a front that you’re perfect and managing. But in reality, you don’t get sleep, you lose balance.

“I would wake up 8-10 times a night. I would cry for no reason. I got to a stage where I couldn’t recognise who I was any more.

“Getting help was very artificial and it wasn’t empathetic.

“I didn’t really feel like I had someone to talk to. I spoke to my fellow colleagues about it, and they had similar feelings.”

Ms Koratty said she hoped her experience as a student would open the gates for universities to provide more mental health support for medical students.



Femy will appear on Insight tonight to talk about her mental health battles while at medical school.

“If you mess up, it could cost someone their life,” she said.

“The blame will be on you. Every time you fail, you feel like you’ve done someone else wrong. “It takes a huge toll, and so if we don’t have the tools to manage our own health, it will impact the people we are trying to help.

“To be a good doctor, you do need to be detached, which is something I have learnt as years have progressed. But that really needs to be explained.

“Not many people know what’s out there for help [as a student], but I think that happens throughout the profession.”

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