Imagine the following: a romantic dinner at a beautiful candlelit restaurant, a couple deeply in love staring into each other’s eyes, electricity is in the air, and the scents of gourmet dining fills their olfactory bulbs. Suddenly….a sound is heard, is it their heartbeat? A piano player? NOPE! It’s a pager going off and one of them has to leave. Sounds like a bit of a buzz kill to me, but in reality that scenario is not too far from the truth, in fact in a recent survey a majority of physicians expressed difficulty in separating job and love. In fact some would argue it’s easier to separate church and state, just ask King Henry the VIII. Whenever anyone thinks of dating a physician, three types go through their mind – the first is call room “rambunctiousness” from Grey’s Anatomy, the second is nerdy but adorable guys from Scrubs, and the third is sarcastic but incredibly intelligent from House MD. Unfortunately these are just television shows that make the life of a physician seem sensationalized and fun. However, when dating a physician you are inevitably going to be exposed to his/her life, and with that come all its idiosyncrasies. So to help, here is a list of a few things you should know when dating a doctor. Time is not on our side – The time table of a resident is dictated by their program. When they arrive to work, when they can leave, eat, use the bathroom, their holidays and everything in between. Be mindful that dating a physician can mean shortened dates, and even cancelations at the last minute. It’s not because they don’t care, it’s just a physician is inherently never going to leave the hospital until all bases are covered and their patients are fully cared for. It is in our DNA right next to washing our hands 40 times a day. Let us be Late – Inevitably the time we agree to meet is an overestimation. It’s because we always think things will go perfectly but the day will get complicated by code blues, rapid responses, and admissions. We don’t want to make you wait but the rule of thumb is always = [45 minutes + original set time]. This takes into account the fact we always need to shower after getting home…trust me, that’s in your best interest. We are always hungry – Residents during their day will forget little things such as eating, using the bathroom, and drinking water. So in case we attack the burrito at dinner, please forgive us. In fact, the nicest thing someone ever did for me was send me lunch at the hospital that fit in my lab coat. Falling asleep is not insulting – Do not take personally your resident’s inability to stay awake. Instead, keep in mind they are chronically sleep-deprived due to a combination of long hours and caffeine abuse. Just remember they could be home actually sleeping but they made the effort to see you, so just because they fell asleep is a side point all together. It’s the thought that counts! Fork, Knife, Spoon and Cell phone – Although I think it’s a good idea to not have cell phone on the table, a resident will have trouble straying far from theirs. Residents use their phones to get in touch with their colleagues and keep tabs on their patients. Over time as they progress in their career they will be less “touch screen–happy”, but in the meantime you can be assured they aren’t checking the Giants score, or texting their BFF. Source
