centered image

‘The Only Corona Here Is The One I’m Drinking’ - Spring Break Kids Mob Alabama Beaches Despite Fears

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dr.Scorpiowoman, Mar 19, 2020.

  1. Dr.Scorpiowoman

    Dr.Scorpiowoman Golden Member

    May 23, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Practicing medicine in:

    It was another beautiful day in Orange Beach Wednesday as hundreds of tanned and toned spring breakers congregated under the shadow of the Perdido Pass Bridge, as they had done over the previous couple of weeks.


    Thousands more lounged along Alabama’s private and public access beaches, while the rest of us desperately scoured grocery stores for toilet paper and questioned if six feet really is enough social distance.

    But this beach, as every decal in the parking lot said, is the Salt Life. Things are different here.

    Music blared from huge speakers while the future humans of this country danced, hugged, wrestled, and flipped into the sea from the base of the 30-year old bridge - a senior among this crowd. Some of the excitable youths even laid down and appeared still for a few brief moments.

    And while it was mostly a wholesome scene of bright bikinis and young men who definitely skipped leg day, the annual gathering comes during what is being widely described as one of the gravest health crises facing not just this country but the entire world.

    But not at this beach.

    “The only corona here is the one I’m drinking,” said Scotty Grier, who was enjoying the day with his girlfriend and friends. “It’s no worse than other flu viruses. Bird flu and swine flu killed more. It’s a way for the government to trick people.

    “Young people today have the immune system of an ox,” he helpfully added.

    Beam me up, Scotty.

    Despite growing fears over coronavirus, spring break kids in Orange Beach, Alabama, are carrying on life as normal.

    Orange Beach Mayor Tony Kennon told Tuesday he would like to close the public access beaches to ensure his community remains unaffected. However, Governor Kay Ivey has so far resisted those calls. She said during a press conference that closing the beaches was being considered.

    Nearby, Gulf Shores Mayor Robert Craft is ordering the city’s public beaches be closed effective 7 a.m. on Friday. UPDATE: In neighboring Gulf Shores, Mayor Robert Craft is ordering the city’s public beaches closed at 7 a.m. on Friday March 20.

    President Donald Trump recently suggested limiting gatherings to 10 people or less, in the hope of stopping the rapid spread of the virus, also known as Covid-19.

    Not here.

    Until the beaches are closed, the Chaco-wearing young’uns will continue to mingle and high-five unabated.

    One clearly intoxicated person, who looked like a young and less successful Eminem, shouted “f**k the police” as law enforcement went by in their vehicles. And then one young African American kid laughed as he said “black men can’t get no virus.”

    Idris Elba might say otherwise.

    For most, it was just another glorious spring break day. Some hid booze in flasks and passed around other nefarious items between little grasping hands. You know, young people stuff.

    But it wasn’t as if the crisis had passed them by completely. Snapchat and Instagram have been showing news clips and offering handy links to the Center for Disease Control website. They knew that hundreds of thousands had been infected and thousands had died. Many were talking about it openly. It was on their minds.

    So why aren’t these kids overly concerned?

    “I’m kinda concerned but I guess we don’t really understand the repercussions of what we’re doing,” said Samuel Melton, who when confronted with his own self-awareness of the issue said “I’m selfish, I know.”

    He also promised he wasn’t going to visit his grandparents until this pesky virus was gone.

    The hot gossip on the beach was that a woman who was visiting Orange Beach from Texas had tested positive, which had unfortunately created mild xenophobia among the crowd. “I think the best way to deal with it is people who aren’t from here shouldn’t come,” said Riley Meyer, whose friends nodded emphatically in agreement. “We don’t have it so don’t bring it here. Plus, it’s dormant in teens so we’ll all be fine.” was unable to verify if the woman mentioned existed or had coronavirus.

    Marley Burgess said if the authorities wanted to contain it they should have kept them in school. “That would have contained it better than allowing us to come to the beach,” she said. “I’m not really worried about it, but my parents are.”

    When went live on Facebook earlier in the day other spring breakers spoke candidly about what they thought of the current crisis. “I think I’ve got a good immune system,” said one 18-year-old kid, while his friend said that he was not concerned about getting sick but was more concerned about getting old people sick.

    Another person said he would only be concerned if someone started coughing.

    A hospital worker said that he had spoken to his colleagues and doctors who said that if he does get sick it will only last three days. “You’re gonna be less sick if you got the flu at my age, 20.”

    If young people really are the future, as wise people keep telling the world, then we may as well all head to the beach and walk directly into the sea to never return. But actually don’t do that.

    Here’s a helpful guide of how to keep yourself safe. Let’s call it the soap life.


    Add Reply

Share This Page