centered image

These 20 One-Liners Come Straight from the Doctors’ Notes

Discussion in 'Doctors Cafe' started by Ghada Ali youssef, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. Ghada Ali youssef

    Ghada Ali youssef Golden Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2016
    Messages:
    2,488
    Likes Received:
    93
    Trophy Points:
    4,375
    Gender:
    Female
    Practicing medicine in:
    Egypt

    The reality is doctors often feel short of words while noting down history. Its not easy task to convert everything what patients say into doctors notes. This is what happen when you're too busy in the OPD

    • Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
    • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
    • The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    • Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
    • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    • While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.
    • Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
    • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
    • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
    • Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
    • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
    • The patient refused autopsy.
    • The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    • She is numb from her toes down.
    • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
    • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
    • Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized.
    • Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
    • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.
    [​IMG]

    Source
     

    Add Reply

Share This Page

<