10. “I swear if they give me a B I’m gonna have my mom talk to a dean.” Your mom? I thought gunners were spawn of the devil? 9. “Dude, it’s Thrombotic thrombocytopenic pupura! You gotta learn to say it clearly, bro.” Dude, ok, we’ll see how clearly you say it when I knock yo’ teeth out. 8. “I’m fairly certain I’m going to match at Johns Hopkins (or insert other top program in the country). It would really suck to end up at _______ (insert other amazing, but perhaps slightly lower ranked program). They just aren’t in the same league.” All hail you, gunner, you deserve the best. 7. “Oh you guys went out last night? How was that. You realize we have a test coming up in 5 weeks, right? Just checking.” Yes, I went out. And yes, it was glorious. And yes, I will do it again tonight. And yes, I will regret it. Oh screw you gunner! why must you always be right? 6. ***”I diagnosed exercise-induced asthma with an allergic component today that was missed by a lung specialist. NBD.” I think that fellowship program in pulmonology is really going to appreciate you trash talking their chief when you apply to their program and they stalk your Facebook! Good luck! 5. “My attending on my surgery rotation told me I should go into gen surg because I’m the best student he’s ever worked with. I told him ‘That means a lot, but top students like me usually go for a specialty field.’” Did he punch you? God I hope he punched you. 4. “I heard the class average on that test was low. Fortunately, I did so well on the first 3 tests that I could have written “IDK, the like spleen or something” for all my answers and still have gotten honors. #greatness.” #whatdoesthespleendo? 3. ***”I got a gold star today from a pediatric cardiologist for my understanding of cardiac physiology!” Did you have nap time after?!? 2. ***”I got 99% of the questions right on my Ob/Gyn Shelf! Which is the 99th percentile nationally! Which means that I am VERY qualified to give pap smears. Any takers?” No takers? weird… 1. ***”A world-renown orthopedic surgeon and senior editor of the most famous traumatology textbook just told me that I ‘knew a lot and should consider going into orthopedic surgery.’ I just want to rub it in all those arrogant orthopods in my class.” Oh sweetie… Source
