Top 10 Wild Things I’ve Heard in an Indian Emergency Department

Emergency rooms across the world are loud, intense, chaotic spaces—but step into an Indian emergency room, and you’ll quickly realize you’ve entered a world uniquely its own. The cries aren’t just from patients, but also from panicked relatives, frustrated nurses, and doctors trying to restore order amidst what often feels like a family reunion-cum-street protest. While the fundamentals of emergency medicine are universal, the conversations you’ll overhear in an Indian ER are a rich reflection of culture, chaos, and comedy.

Here are 10 things you’ll only hear in an Indian emergency room, curated from real experiences, medical mayhem, and heartfelt hilarity.

1. “Doctor Saab, bas thoda sa BP high hai na? Toh ICU kyun?”

(Translation: Doctor sir, it’s just a little high blood pressure, why ICU then?)

This statement captures the Indian love for minimizing serious conditions. The family often assumes that a BP of 200/120 is just “a little stress” and that the ICU is overkill. It doesn't matter that the patient just had a hypertensive emergency—what matters is that they don't want that hefty ICU bill.

In Indian ERs, you’ll constantly battle perceptions that hospitals over-treat. Educating patients and their relatives becomes just as critical as treating the patient.

2. “Main toh theek hoon, bas ambulance free thi toh aagaya!”

(Translation: I’m fine, just came along because the ambulance was available!)

A cousin, a neighbor, an uncle from the neighborhood—all may show up in the ER because they didn’t want to miss the drama. In Indian culture, illness isn't an individual experience; it's a family affair. Ambulances often carry more than just the patient—they bring an entourage.

3. “Injection de do, sab theek ho jayega.”

(Translation: Just give an injection, everything will be fine.)

The mythical Indian injection cure! No matter the illness, many patients or their relatives will ask for “ek strong injection.” They don’t care about labs, diagnosis, or side effects—what they want is the quick fix, ideally in one syringe.

As a doctor, you’ll often find yourself negotiating with families to hold off on that "miracle injection" until you know what’s going on.

4. “Doctor, ek baar baba ko dikha dijiye, usne bola hai mirchi lagi hai pet mein.”

(Translation: Doctor, please consult the baba once—he says there’s a chili stuck in the stomach.)

Superstition is alive and well, and it walks right into your emergency room. Whether it’s a tantrik’s diagnosis, a home remedy gone wrong, or an evil eye story, these beliefs coexist alongside allopathic care.

Often, you must delicately balance respect for cultural beliefs while redirecting attention to scientific treatment.

5. “Kya yeh sab test zaroori hain? Pehle dawai likh do.”

(Translation: Are all these tests necessary? Just write the medicine first.)

Diagnostic reluctance is a real phenomenon. Blood tests, X-rays, or CT scans are seen as optional. Many believe that good doctors can diagnose by just looking at a person. There’s a cultural expectation for intuitive, almost magical diagnoses.

You’ll frequently explain how medicine isn’t astrology, and that yes, tests are needed—even if the patient’s uncle is also a doctor "back home."

6. “Pehle mere ko dekho, inka toh bas sir dard hai.”

(Translation: See me first, they just have a headache.)

Triage hierarchy means nothing in a crowd where everyone believes their case is the most urgent. Families argue, bypass the line, and demand immediate attention—even if someone is coding in the next bed.

Managing expectations becomes a diplomatic mission, often requiring equal parts assertiveness and empathy.

7. “Sab doctor milke kuch kar kyu nahi rahe? Humne paisa diya hai!”

(Translation: Why aren't all the doctors doing something together? We’ve paid money!)

Indian ERs, especially in private hospitals, often face the brunt of financial expectations. The moment money changes hands, families expect miracles, VIP care, and the full medical team on deck.

You often hear this when someone sees a nurse checking vitals while the doctor is managing another crash cart emergency. Sometimes, medicine must also manage customer service.

8. “Doctor, shaadi ka rishta fix kar diya hai, bas thoda rang gora kar do.”

(Translation: Doctor, the marriage is fixed—just lighten the skin tone a bit.)

Yes, even in an emergency room, fairness and beauty concerns sneak in. If someone faints before a wedding or is admitted with minor dehydration, the relatives often slip in a secondary request—“Can you suggest something for skin glow?”

Medicine in India sometimes means moonlighting as a beauty consultant, even when someone’s on IV fluids.

9. “Yeh toh nazar lag gayi hai, chhoti moti baat hai.”

(Translation: It’s just the evil eye, a small matter.)

It doesn’t matter if the patient has high fever, sepsis, or organ failure—some relatives will genuinely believe the condition is due to someone’s jealousy or a recent visit to a newborn. “Nimbu-mirchi” remedies are often proposed.

And if the patient gets better after a few IV antibiotics, guess what gets the credit? The lime and chili charm, not your medical expertise.

10. “Kya aapke pass government rate ka option hai?”

(Translation: Do you have a government-rate option?)

No matter how plush the private hospital, everyone wants a discount, a “sarkari” rate, or a friend in admin. You might be stabilizing someone post-MI, and their brother-in-law will walk up to ask if there's a cheaper ICU package.

Finances dictate many decisions in Indian emergency care. Often, people begin treatment at a private facility and transfer mid-crisis to a government hospital due to costs.

Bonus: A Few More You Can’t Ignore

• “Pehle oxygen laga do, saans ruk rahi hai!” (Before even checking vitals)
• “Doctor, ek selfie le sakte hain aapke saath?” (Right after you save their life)
• “Hamare gaon mein toh neem ka paani dete hain.” (And they still came to the hospital?)

Reflections from the Emergency Floor

Working in an Indian emergency room teaches you more about sociology and psychology than any textbook. You learn to multitask between being a doctor, counselor, negotiator, and even a spiritual diplomat. Despite the noise, the drama, and the unfiltered dialogues, there’s heart in every corner. Each sentence you hear tells you something about what matters to people—health, family, faith, finances, and above all, trust in the doctor.

The humor and chaos are matched by an unspoken resilience—on both sides of the stethoscope.