Weird Ancient Medical Practices That Will Surprise You

Introduction

Medicine has evolved remarkably over the centuries. While today's medical practices are grounded in scientific research and clinical trials, historical treatments were often rooted in superstition, trial and error, and sometimes sheer desperation. This exploration of weird medical treatments throughout history will not only entertain but also highlight the evolution of medical science. Understanding these old practices gives us a fascinating glimpse into how our ancestors attempted to heal the sick and injured, and how far we've come.

Ancient Egyptian Remedies

The ancient Egyptians were pioneers in the field of medicine. Their practices, however, were a mix of the rational and the bizarre.

1. Honey and Bread Mold: Egyptians used honey for its antibacterial properties, which is scientifically validated today. They also used moldy bread to treat wounds, anticipating modern antibiotics like penicillin.
2. Crocodile Dung Contraceptives: Women in ancient Egypt used crocodile dung mixed with other substances as a contraceptive. This method was based more on superstition than any real contraceptive efficacy.
3. Animal Parts for Healing: Various animal parts were used in treatments. For example, lizard blood, pig teeth, and even the fat of a lion were used in various concoctions believed to cure ailments ranging from headaches to infections.

Trepanation: Drilling Holes in the Skull

Trepanation is one of the oldest surgical procedures known, dating back to prehistoric times.

1. Purpose: This process involved drilling holes into a person’s skull to treat conditions like headaches, seizures, or mental illnesses. The belief was that this would release evil spirits trapped in the head.
2. Survival Rates: Despite its dangerous nature, evidence suggests that some patients survived these procedures, as indicated by signs of bone healing. Trepanation was performed using flint tools, and the survival rate was surprisingly high, with some patients undergoing multiple procedures over their lifetime.
3. Modern Echoes: While trepanation is not practiced today, it is a precursor to modern neurosurgery techniques. Ancient practitioners' understanding of the brain and skull was rudimentary, but their willingness to operate on the head laid the groundwork for future advancements.

Bloodletting: Letting Out the "Bad Blood"

Bloodletting was a common practice for centuries, used to treat a variety of ailments from fevers to hypertension.

1. Theory of Humors: Physicians believed that many illnesses were caused by an imbalance of the body's humors, particularly an excess of blood. This procedure often involved using leeches or cutting a vein to let blood flow out.
2. Methods: The most common method was venesection, where a vein was cut to allow blood to flow out. Another method involved using leeches, which were believed to draw out the "bad blood" from the patient.
3. Risks and Outcomes: While bloodletting did have some uses in specific conditions, it was largely based on flawed medical theories and often did more harm than good. Patients frequently became weaker and more susceptible to infections.
4. Historical Context: Bloodletting persisted well into the 19th century. Notable figures like George Washington were subjected to this practice, which may have hastened their deaths.

The Use of Mercury

Mercury, a toxic substance, was once widely used in medicine.

1. Syphilis Treatment: Mercury was a common treatment for syphilis before the discovery of antibiotics. Patients were given mercury in various forms, including ointments and vapors, often leading to mercury poisoning.
2. Calomel: Calomel, a mercury chloride compound, was used as a purgative and for treating a wide range of ailments. Its use persisted into the 19th century, despite the known risks of mercury toxicity.
3. Historical Impact: The phrase "a night in the arms of Venus leads to a lifetime on Mercury" reflects the prolonged and dangerous treatments syphilis patients endured. Mercury treatment caused severe side effects, including tremors, tooth loss, and neurological damage.

Mummification and Medicine

The process of mummification in ancient Egypt also had medical aspects.

1. Anatomical Studies: Organs were removed and preserved, which inadvertently led to early anatomical studies. Egyptian embalmers had a detailed understanding of the human body, albeit for the purpose of preservation rather than treatment.
2. Mummy Powder: During the Renaissance in Europe, ground mummies were sold as medicine. This "mummy powder" was believed to have healing properties, although it was essentially just ground-up human remains.
3. Historical Curiosity: The use of mummy powder reflected the period's fascination with ancient Egypt and its perceived mystical powers. It was used to treat conditions ranging from headaches to internal bleeding.

The Humoral Theory

The humoral theory, originating from ancient Greece, dominated Western medicine for centuries.

1. Four Humors: This theory posited that human health was maintained by a balance of four humors: blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile. Treatments were designed to balance these humors, often leading to bizarre practices like the use of enemas, purging, and the consumption of strange substances.
2. Diet and Lifestyle: Physicians often prescribed specific diets and lifestyle changes to balance the humors. For example, a patient with excess phlegm might be advised to avoid cold foods and drinks.
3. Medical Practices: Enemas were common, and substances like ground animal parts were ingested to restore balance. This theory influenced medical practice until the advent of modern scientific methods in the 19th century.

Snake Oil Salesmen

The term "snake oil" is synonymous with fraudulent medical treatments.

1. Traveling Salesmen: In the 19th century, traveling salesmen in the United States peddled various concoctions claiming miraculous cures. One popular item was "snake oil," purported to be made from Chinese water snakes and advertised as a cure-all.
2. Ingredients: Most of these products were ineffective and sometimes harmful mixtures of various substances, including alcohol and opium. The actual snake oil, when it was included, was often from non-medicinal species.
3. Impact on Regulation: The prevalence of such fraudulent treatments eventually led to the establishment of regulations and the development of the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to protect consumers from dangerous and ineffective medications.

The Radium Craze

In the early 20th century, radium was touted as a wonder drug.

1. Widespread Use: Radium was used in everything from water tonics to beauty creams, believed to boost vitality and cure various ailments. It was also used in medical treatments for conditions like arthritis and cancer.
2. Health Consequences: The harmful effects of radiation were not well understood at the time, and many people suffered radiation poisoning as a result. Symptoms included severe anemia, bone fractures, and necrosis.
3. Radium Girls: One famous case involved the "Radium Girls," factory workers who painted watch dials with radium and suffered severe health consequences. Their plight led to increased awareness of the dangers of radiation and the implementation of workplace safety regulations.

Tobacco Smoke Enemas

One of the most bizarre treatments in history is the tobacco smoke enema.

1. Resuscitation Method: In the 18th century, it was believed that blowing smoke into a person's rectum could revive drowning victims. This practice was later applied to other ailments such as headaches and respiratory problems.
2. Tobacco Introduction: The introduction of tobacco into the body via the rectum was thought to stimulate respiration and circulation. Kits for administering tobacco smoke enemas were even included in resuscitation kits along the River Thames.
3. Scientific Understanding: The practice was based on a misunderstanding of the physiological effects of tobacco smoke. It eventually fell out of favor as more effective resuscitation techniques were developed.

The Use of Cannibalistic Cures

Cannibalistic cures were common in Europe from the 16th to the 18th century.

1. Medicines from Human Remains: Medicines made from human flesh, blood, and bones were believed to cure various ailments. For example, "mummy powder" was used to treat epilepsy, and human fat was applied to wounds.
2. Life Force Belief: These treatments were based on the belief that consuming human parts could transfer the deceased’s life force to the living. This belief was particularly strong during times of plague and other widespread illnesses.
3. Ethical Concerns: The use of human remains in medicine raised ethical questions even at the time, but the desperation for cures often outweighed these concerns.

Funny Anecdotes and Missteps

History is replete with humorous and strange medical practices.

1. The King's Drops: King Charles II of England had a personal recipe for a concoction called "The King's Drops," which included a mixture of human skull. This was believed to have restorative properties.
2. Dead Mole Toothache Cure: Medieval physicians recommended carrying a dead mole in one's pocket to cure toothaches. This peculiar remedy highlights the lengths to which people went in their quest for health.
3. Goose Excrement for Baldness: Ancient Romans believed that applying a mixture of goose excrement and vinegar to the scalp could cure baldness. Unsurprisingly, this method was not effective.

Conclusion

The history of medicine is a testament to human ingenuity and the relentless pursuit of healing, even when guided by bizarre and unfounded theories. While many of these old medical treatments seem absurd today, they paved the way for modern medical practices by highlighting the importance of observation, experimentation, and ultimately, scientific validation. Understanding these historical treatments not only provides entertainment but also offers valuable lessons in the evolution of medical science.