What Are Some Things The Family Of The Patient Does That Hinders You From Saving The Patient?

As an ER nurse or doctor, what are some things the family of the patient does that hinders you from saving the patient?



This question was originally posted on Quora.com and was answered by Chelsea Meissner, RN, BSN




In no particular order

• When half the ER staff is in your family members room working to save their life and instead of answering questions, you loudly shout “Please help them! Why is nobody helping them?!” while pushing us out of the way… not sure what you think is happening right now.
  
  
• Rating their pain for them, especially after you’ve been asked repeatedly to stop. Same with answering questions for them, particularly to the point you’re not letting them talk.
  
  
• Giving your family member with 104F fever a dozen blankets because they’re cold. In this case you’re quite literally endangering their life.
  
  
• Getting aggressive, rude, or violent with ER staff.
  
  
• Focusing on non-life saving things when we’re actually trying to save their life. For example, your family member is there because they’re septic or in the middle of a heart attack and you keep interrupting me about pillows and blankets while I’m giving them life-saving medications, trying to ask them about their symptoms and do an assessment, etc. Nobody died in a hospital because they didn’t get a pillow the instant a family member decided they wanted it. People have literally died because they didn’t get a necessary medication or the healthcare team didn’t get the full story.
  
  
• Lying. We expect them to lie about drinking and drug use. Lying with them helps nobody. We don’t ask to judge. We ask because alcoholism causes many life threatening problems and withdrawal can kill you. Or when you they don’t take their medication. Or whatever the issue is. Lying hurts them. It prevents us from treating them appropriately in a timely manner. Those delays can sometimes be the difference between living and dying.
  
  
• Enable. We’ve had actively suicidal patients whose family facilitated them escaping from the hospital, brought them drugs/alcohol, or even weapons. I had patient who was supposed to have urgent surgery and their family went out and got them food even though we explained to everyone in the room he can’t eat before surgery and then they got all dramatic like it was my fault when their surgery got delayed to the next day. Giving stroke patients water/food after you’ve been told they’re NPO (nothing by mouth) because their swallowing is compromised.
  
  
• When family members are healthcare providers:
  • If you’re a CNA, you’re not a freakin nurse. Don’t lie to me. You don’t know as much as you think you know, and why you do think you know often is enough to hurt them not help them. Besides, in many places it’s actually against the law to claim you’re a nurse when you’re not.
  • I don’t care if you’re a doctor. You’re not their doctor. There’s a reason we don’t treat our own family. If you meddle in their care and their chart after they’ve told you not to, it’s still against the law and I’ll be happy to report you for it. Respect their privacy.

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