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What If Medical School Was a Religion?

Discussion in 'Medical Students Cafe' started by Egyptian Doctor, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. Egyptian Doctor

    Egyptian Doctor Moderator Verified Doctor

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    Medical school is not a religion. Sure it takes over one’s life, colors one’s perception of the world, and makes for uncomfortable dinner conversation, but it’s not a religion. That being said, it is definitely like a religion. For instance:

    First Aid

    c2fb1d42387f3e76684219dabddcfea1.jpg
    Flickr | coleman and caroline

    This is your bible. I mean that because it is the book that will guide your studying, which for a period of time is your life. In the stressed and uncertain times of learning medicine from scratch, this book will show you the way to a good STEP score, and with it an iota of mental peace. You will memorize this book better than most religious scholars know their religious texts,and its pages will serve as the foundation of much of your lifelong knowledge after you’ve read it.

    Hospital

    3d9940ae5207e031446202ae196d185e.jpg
    Flickr | Peter Ras

    This is your church. For the religiously inclined, there is a reasonable chance you will find yourself praying here at one point of your life. For everyone, it is the pinnacle of medicine. Within it’s hallowed halls you will think thoughts and wield powers you won’t anywhere else. Coincidentally, this place will supercede many religious holidays (Emergencies don’t wait for Christmas presents L). Unfortunately, this churches Sabbath can sometimes consist of night shifts.

    Coffee

    641509669e08de0b7214f47adc070183.jpg
    Flickr | neil conway

    You will drink this productivity inducing nectar religiously.

    Study Desk

    e76138af68130e24f2c9343ced722bd3.jpg
    Flickr | Simon Starr

    This is your pew. This is where you will learn the sacred medical words. Amalgams of pre-fixes, suffixes derived from Latin and Greek along with the names of various random guys who discovered things. You will memorize words like Osteitis Fibrosis Cystica, Pseudohypoparathyroidism, Pagets disease (… no, the other pagets disease). Also, say a bunch of medical jargon and tell me it doesn’t sound like this:


    Atul Gawande

    63e42cd0e36decafca44b12f756d9ddc.jpg
    Flickr | Center for American Progress

    The patron saint of becoming a successful doctor while pursuing one’s passion of writing good books, and giving respectable and accurate medical advice to all.

    Dr. Oz

    d75d9b3040f5c04e7b7977269d3427ba.jpg
    Flickr | CaWalnuts

    The universally likable, double Ivy League graduating thoracic surgeon who fell from grace. A doctor who once knew the ins and outs of the Krebs cycle, cardiology, and the tenets of evidence based medicine now saying things like “this pill (with unsubstantiated claims of efficacy) is magic”, “ buy this (most likely useless, possibly dangerous) new drug” or “ I would give my family this drug (because it probably has no clinically significant effect anyway)”.

    STEP 1 Studying= Ramadan/ Lent

    3593509087ec397b2d3388a4c33980f3.jpg
    Flickr | ColorfulFoxes

    What good religion doesn’t have a period of sacrifice? Does giving up something you like for 40 days or more ring a bell? (i.e. your social life/hygiene/sanity…) Does doing something up from sun-up to sun-down sound just a little bit familiar? Ya, just like religion, medicine takes a bit of somewhat tangential sacrifice to make it to the promised land. I mean, do all American doctors really need to know the molecular characteristics of Ebola?

    Becoming an Attending= Heaven, Nirvana

    398102719edccfda381e29587e9de66f.jpg
    Flickr | tommyscapes

    That time every medical student dreams about where one gets to save lives as a respected member of society, in control of their own life and most of all, not indebted to the government. Unfortunately, just like Heaven and Nirvana, nobody knows if this Promised Land really exists. However, that doesn’t stop the legions of would-be followers from applying every year.


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