Humans love patterns. We play video games that stack like-shaped objects on each other. We put flowers together in a certain way. We actually have a phrase about putting ducks in a row! C’mon! It all comes from a need to make sense out of a disorderly and random universe. If we can’t put things in an order we understand, what’s the point of anything? So, we create patterns and expectations for people’s lives. You go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, retire. We even cling to patterns like these in our heads when the reality of life bears almost no resemblance to it. In the U.S., 40% of kids are now born to unmarried parents. A generation before, that number was less than 10%. More than half of all people under 35 are single, not married. Jobs change more quickly. Careers comes and go. And the change is happening at an accelerating pace. Still, when your stakeholders advise you on life plans, or, more realistically, when you advise yourself, you tend to get advice about how to adhere to the vision of the way things used to be, not the way things are. Do as I say, not as I did, and especially, not as I really wanted to do. In many ways, the biggest obstacle to a liberal arts grad flourishing at their craft is the fear of actually trying to flourish at that craft. Tell your friends that you want to be a stand-up comic and watch what they say. Some will pat you on the head, “Sounds great.” Some will tell you that they knew someone who tried that and, after falling flat on their face, now they’re in law school. Very few will give you advice on how actually to succeed at your dream. Why is that? Why doesn’t anyone pat prospective doctors or accountants on the head and say: “You should definitely give it a shot when you’re young, but you’ll need something else to fall back on.” After all, a prospective doctor knows he or she will be at it for seven to fifteen years investing more than half a million dollars before actually achieving their goal, yet few parents roll their eyes when their child declares a desire to go into medicine. But maybe they should, because robots of the future are much more likely to replace doctors than comics. So you’ll have to create your own vision for success and work towards that vision every day. And while you want to retain plenty of friends from all walks of life, you need to make sure you surround yourself with stakeholders who not only believe in you, but hold you accountable to taking steps to achieving your dream. Be frank with yourself. Don’t proclaim your desire to be an actor then move back to Omaha and lament the lack of jobs. Be realistic. Most acting jobs are in New York or LA. Those are expensive cities. Go where they are and find a way to make it work. Map out a plan. How will you actually do it? Bring your uniqueness to your daily tasks. You can major in drama and start a cupcake business, if that’s your calling. But don’t hesitate to be the cupcake shop that also puts on Death of a Salesman when you intro a new flavor. Use your talents. Don’t pay attention to the naysayers. But don’t get angry at them. They know not what they do. Most people have the vision in their head of what life is supposed to be. But you have the vision of what life can be. Never forget: that makes you the lucky one. But you’ll have to battle to maintain your vision every day. Source
