1. “Drugs” What it usually means: Medicine you take when you’re ill. What it means when you’re a medical student: A never ending list of names and dosages that need to be learnt. 2. “Diarrhea and vomiting” What it usually means: Symptoms of the gastrointestinal system. What it means when you’re a medical student: The only way to get out of of Firms for three days, thanks to infection control. 3. “Nights” What it usually means: Time spent sleeping. What it means when you’re a medical student: Time spent running around the hospital following people who actually get paid. 4. “Calling in sick” What it usually means: A chance to experience and appreciate healthcare in other countries. What it means when you’re a medical student: The long holiday at the end of medical school. 5. “Elective” What it usually means: A chance to experience and appreciate healthcare in other countries. What it means when you’re a medical student: The long holiday at the end of medical school. 6. “GP” What it usually means: A general practitioner. What it means when you’re a medical student: Someone who spends all day drinking tea in one room. 7. “Bachelor of Science” What it usually means: The branch of philosophy that explores what is right and wrong. What it means when you’re a medical student: That topic that no one quite gets but everyone somehow gets through. 8. “Ethics” What it usually means: The branch of philosophy that explores what is right and wrong. What it means when you’re a medical student: That topic that no one quite gets but everyone somehow gets through. 9. “NHS” What it usually means: The National Health Service. What it means when you’re a medical student: Your future employer. 10. “History” What it usually means: The study of past events. What it means when you’re a medical student: Trying to get information out of a patient, who will go on to tell the consultant something completely different. 11. “Consultant” What it usually means: A medical professional of senior rank. What it means when you’re a medical student: The scariest bosses with the biggest egos that you need to suck up to and avoid. 12. “Paediatrics” What it normally means: The medical specialty that deals with babies and children. What it means when you’re a medical student: Playing with arts and crafts with children. 13. “Scrubs” What it usually means: Cleaning utensils that remove dirt. What it means when you’re a medical student: Comfy clothing that you wear to theatre or sleep in whilst on call. 14. “Cheese and onion” What it usually means: A flavour of crisps. What it means when you’re a medical student: The book that holds all of the answers. 15. “Anatomy” What it usually means: Making an incision into a patient in order to treat them. What it means when you’re a medical student: Standing up for hours while retracting back fat flaps. 16. “Surgery” What it usually means: Making an incision into a patient in order to treat them. What it means when you’re a medical student: Standing up for hours while retracting back fat flaps. 17. “Rounds” What it usually means: Buying drinks for a group at the pub. What it means when you’re a medical student: Following doctors move from patient to patient. Otherwise known as the most boring hours of your life. Source
