Having stress in the hospital, would you manage to get 10 minutes break to read these jokes, I promise you will enjoy it: The Waiting Room Patient: "Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains!" Doctor: "Pull yourself together!" Diagnosis Patient: "Doctor, I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said." Doctor: "When did you first notice this problem?" Patient: "What problem?" Prescription Patient: "Doctor, I swallowed a bone." Doctor: "Are you choking?" Patient: "No, I really did!" Surgery Surgeon: "Nurse, did you get the defibrillator?" Nurse: "No, but I got the batteries!" Anatomy Lesson Doctor: "You have a very rare and extremely contagious disease. We're going to have to put you in isolation and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna." Patient: "Will that cure me?" Doctor: "No, but it's the only food that fits under the door." Medical Records Doctor: "I'm afraid your medical test results are back. You’re just plain lazy." Patient: "Can I get a second opinion?" Doctor: "Sure, you're also quite overweight." Emergency Room Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news." Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first." Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live." Patient: "24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE?" Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday." Dieting Doctor: "I see you're overweight." Patient: "I want a second opinion." Doctor: "Okay, you're also ugly." Family Practice Patient: "Doctor, every time I drink coffee, I get a sharp pain in my eye." Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out of the cup." Mental Health Psychiatrist: "How do you feel about your weight?" Patient: "It’s weighing on my mind." Exercise Patient: "Doctor, you've got to help me! I can't stop my hands from shaking." Doctor: "Do you drink a lot?" Patient: "Not really. I spill most of it." Health Advice Patient: "Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep it in?" Doctor: "Yes, a paper bag." X-Ray Technician: "Doctor, the invisible man is here for his appointment." Doctor: "Tell him I can’t see him right now." Pharmacy Patient: "I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster." Follow-Up Patient: "Doctor, I broke my arm in two places." Doctor: "Well, don't go back to those places." Consultation Doctor: "You’re in good health. You’ll live to be 80." Patient: "But I am 80!" Doctor: "See, what did I tell you?" Optometry Patient: "Doctor, I can't see well at night." Optometrist: "Well, you need to wear glasses." Patient: "But I already wear glasses." Optometrist: "Then I recommend keeping the lights on." Neurology Patient: "Doctor, I have a brain cloud!" Doctor: "I think you mean a brain fog. A cloud would be much more serious." Dentistry Dentist: "You need a crown." Patient: "Finally, someone who understands me." General Practice Patient: "Doctor, I've become invisible." Doctor: "I'm afraid I can't see you right now."
