You’re single. You’re heading out to a med school party, the annual holiday bash, or to celebrate a colleague’s promotion. Hospital jokes and medical humor will definitely be appreciated and you have hopes of meeting The One. For tonight, forever, for however long it lasts…you need to know the best medical pick-up lines. Try Out Some Funny One-Liner Jokes You don’t know how it’s going to pan out until you try, right? But you don’t want to mess up your big shot if the person of your dreams walks into your life tonight. If you’ve been waiting forever to ask someone out, you don’t want to botch that either. Here’s an extra-long list of hospital joke one liners, so you can find one you’re comfortable with. We haven’t missed a beat here: you’ll find lame, funny, silly and clever medical jokes included. 25 Steal a Heart Puns Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today. Are you my appendix? I have a gut feeling I should take you out. You get my heart racing like an epinephrine drip. Am I attracted to you or is it just volatile blood sugars? Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you. ICU in my dreams. The way you talk to me leaves me aphasic. I just want to swab you up and down, then left and right, until we’re both afebrile. You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart. If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me? You raise my dopamine levels. Wanna go study some anatomy? Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you. Are you a C-reactive protein? Because you have a-cute phase. You’re systemic and I’m pulmonary. Though we may be divided, together we are one. My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed. Can I be your ophthalmologist ‘cause I can’t stop looking into your eyes. I get all Kluver-Bucy around you. You’d better be a cardiologist, because something about you makes me want to give you my heart. Are you drowning? Because I’m feeling the urge to give you CPR. You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me. Are you COPD? Because you take my breath away. I didn’t plan on specializing, but you seem pretty special to me. I hope someday to be your emergency contact. Let’s exchange genetic information! Funny or Clever One Line Puns? We feel your pain. Not everyone is a natural comedian; in fact, we’re pretty certain the majority of us aren’t. The plan is to find that special someone who thinks you’re hilarious – even if the rest of the world thinks you’re a jackass. For this, you need the good pick-up lines, not the really corny pick-up lines. Right? Or could it work for you to play the nerd card? Dating is a very tricky business. Let’s take a look at how medical pick-up lines, or any pick-up line, works. Humerus Jokes (See What We Did There?) Often, the way you envisage meeting the person of your dreams isn’t anywhere close to the reality. Whether you’ve planned it for a year or you spotted them five minutes ago, you only get one quick shot at one-line jokes: “First impressions matter, and our opening few lines can either energize the interaction, or cause the other person to look around for the nearest exit.” – Psychology Today Clever pick-up lines might impress the guy or gal who gets your pulse racing, but humor could make you seem more confident if you’re trembling a little inside. You’re going to have to use your intuition as to whether someone’s in the mood for funny hospital jokes. Is your intuition sometimes off kilter? Arm yourself with some of each. Go for brainy medical puns if it seems the mood is right, or try out your best funny medical puns from a trusty stash if you can’t call it. Then, deliver in style. How to Deliver Medical One-Liners Nobody wants to be the person who bombs at one liner jokes. It’s far easier to deliver even the worst pick-up lines in person. Catch someone at just the right moment. Flash a winning smile. Bounce off a natural attraction…Your funny puns might just work. The Good Men Project says these five rules can put you onto a winner (they work on good men or good women): Be original – don’t imitate others Be funny – keep it light Be flirtatious – flatter them Be observational – comment on what’s happening here and now Remember that delivery is everything – show confidence (even if you fake it) The upshot of all this advice is to be yourself. Don’t deliver doctor one-liners in the style of Dr. McDreamy if you don’t look or sound anything like Patrick Dempsey, and do a very bad impression of him. The best one liner jokes don’t have to be perfect, they just have to hit the spot – right time, right place. Tell a Joke Instead Now you’re clued in about puns, one-liners and lame pick-up lines, you might want some jokes too. We have every faith you can pull this off. Good luck! Source
