Doctors Reveal The Most Outrageous Self-Diagnoses Their Patients Have Ever Given Them

There’s a couple of reasons why you should never self-diagnose yourself with an illness.

One being that it can be really annoying for those who actually have an official diagnosis and are struggling with the illness you’re self-diagnosing yourself with.

The second is that you could simply have a cold but too much Dr Google can result in you convincing yourself you have just days left to live.

Neither are fun – or practical.

But it seems nobody knows this better than doctors, and they’re talking about it on a Reddit thread, where they’re opening up about the most outrageous things their patients have self-diagnosed themselves with.

Seems like there’s something this elderly lady isn’t telling her doctor here…
‘I had a patient a few weeks ago who was in her late 80s come in worried about having a sexually transmitted disease. She goes on to tell me that she hasn’t had sex since her husband died.

‘In 1994.’



This one’s brilliant

‘Had a patient come in once due to weight gain that she thought was due to being pregnant. Made sense, except she’d taken more than half a dozen pregnancy tests and they were all negative. She was convinced she was pregnant though, and wanted me to check.

‘I tell her ok, I’ll do a blood test, since we can detect pregnancy earlier with that, and she refuses.

‘Says that she just wants to pee on the stick in front of me and have me read it. So I say sure, and lo and behold, it’s negative.

‘Little more questioning, and it turns out she’d been eating literally nothing but chicken wings for weeks.

‘When I asked her why in the world she would do that, she replied that she just really liked chicken wings.’

How dirty can jeans get?

‘I once had a middle school band student who had to miss a rehearsal because she had bruises all over her legs.

‘The diagnosis? Unwashed blue jeans.’

How lovely

‘A woman came in claiming her “foul odor” was from a “leftover condom” in her nether regions from TWO weeks prior.

‘Needless to say there was no condom down there, just some fungi, even more unusual.’



The tastiest of moles

‘Someone had booked an emergency appointment to have a mole inspected because “it had shown up overnight and was cancer”.

‘About five seconds into the exam, I wipe the “mole” off using my finger.

‘It was chocolate melted onto her skin.’

No, your testicles aren’t supposed to be huge

‘Guy came in complaining of testicular atrophy. On exam, normal testicles.

‘When asked how big he thought they were supposed to be, he made a fist. This guy wanted hand grenade sized testicles.

‘Also… had a guy come in claiming that he had erectile dysfunction due to complications from a “penis shortening” surgery.’

Not a doctor, but comedy gold

‘My wife is a veterinary nurse. Someone brought their dog in because of small growths in two lines along the dog’s belly.

‘The dog was diagnosed with nipples.’



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