Medical Fun

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When someone says "Nothing can be more complicated than love"
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Throw medicine text book on his/her face....

 

Doctor, architect and IT administrator are talking which job was on the world first...
Doctor says: "First job have to be doctor...just imagine, that hard operation from Adam´s rib to Eve...it was huge surgical operation, so doctor has to be first job in the world."
Architect says: "No, did you saw that chaos everywhere, and then God makes a paradise garden - it was so amazing architectonic beauty, that architect job was first in the world."
IT administrator says: "Guys and what do you think about from where was developed that chaos in the world?"

 

After lesson of sexual disfunction, professor asks students: "How we call a man who want, but he can´t?"
All students reply: "Impotent."
Professor: "Well. And how we call a man who don´t want, but he still can?"
All students reply: "Priapism."
Professor: "Well. So last question, how we call a man who can, but he don´t want?"
Class is quiet.
So professor ask again: "So how we call a man who can, but he don´t want?"
Class is quiet again...
...only one girl stand up and loudly say: "Motherfucker is it, damn motherfucker is it."


Translation is not so good as original, but I hope you get it

 

Professor asks students: "Which organ can get bigger up 4x times within the one second?"
Class is quiet. One girl very soundlessly says something.
Professor asks again: "Which organ can get bigger up 4x times within the one second?"
Girl silently: "P....."
Professor: "I don´t hear you, loudly please."
Girl quietly: "Pe..."
Professor: "I realy don´t hear you, more aloud please."
Girl: "Penis."
Professor smiling: "No my lady, it´s pupil, but keep that man."


Translation is not so good as original, but I hope you get it

 

Zestfully: "Knock, knock on the door."
Glum man voice behind the door: "What is it?"
Zestful woman voice before the door: "Here I am, open the door."
Glum man voice behind the door: "Who is it? What do you want?"
Zestful woman voice before the door: "I´m death (Grim Reaper), open the door!"
Glum and snarky man voice behind the door: "Kiss my ass!!!"
Zestful and beamy woman voice before the door: "OK, well. I write down, cancer of colon and rectum!!!"


My most favourite one - so short, simple, including whole life wisdom Translation is not so good as original, but I hope you get it

 

Lawyer: "Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?"
Pathologist: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you listen to the heart?"
Pathologist: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Pathologist: "No."
Lawyer: "So, when you signed the death certificate you weren't actually sure he was dead, were you?"
Pathologist: "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere..."